


Ice heart [ON HIATUS]

by kimkeybumie



Category: SHINee
Genre: 2018 Winter Olympics, Alternate Universe, M/M, Multi, figure skating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-04-26 20:29:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14409981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimkeybumie/pseuds/kimkeybumie
Summary: Winter Olympics are coming closer and it's time for contestants in all disciplines to take their flight to Helsinki, Finland. Kim Kibum is one of the representative of South Korea in figure skating, he's been training since he's a child and it's now the time for his first Olympics as a solo skater. In the company of his coach, former skater and international contestant Lee Jinki, and his best friend and skating mate Lee Taemin, here he flies to the snowy country to prepare the competition. There, he meets other South Korean contestants, and among them, there is Kim Jonghyun : a young and handsome man who's competing with his female partner for couple skating. These two skaters were meant to meet, but their personality and vision of skating are so different it can only mean one thing: a serious and cold Kibum hates a funny and warm Jonghyun, but don't we say fire can make ice melt? What about an iced heart, then?





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Story on hiatus until inspiration comes back... maybe when the weather will turn cold again? 
> 
>  
> 
> Until then, more drabbles/one-shots will come, along with a chaptered story.

_**1\. Arrival** _

 

 

 

The sound of metal slipping on ice was resounding like a sweet music to the young man’s ears. Leaving some slight frozen grooves on his way, he let himself get carried away around the oval track, his long and thin arms looking like two wings thrown behind him. He was turning round and round, embellishing his straight lines with jumps and complex, sophisticated spins, without any fall to ruin this ballet. 

 

With his elbows resting on the balustrade that circled the skating rink, an auburn haired man was quietly observing him, his eyes following each of his gestures and nodding to his figures. Beside him, a man who seemed younger was bringing his gloved hands to his angelic face each time the ice skater left the frozen floor to rise in a graceful pirouette. In this boy’s sparkling eyes could be seen an unfailing admiration, but darkened by a semblance of fear : having a bad fall wasn’t that rare, and it could be so serious.

 

 

“He’s ready.” The elder man stated as he removed his elbows from the balustrade, making a hand sign towards the lighting and sound glazed desk in order to make the music stop.

 

“He is for such a long time now, don’t you agree hyung ?” The younger male asked, his eyes not leaving the skater who had stopped at the same time as the music did.

 

“In his mind, yeah. But he still had to work his body.”

 

“I wish I could reach his level…”

 

“You will, Taemin. Believe in yourself and above all, be patient. Kibum ice-skates for a longer time than you do, it is normal that he succeeds in more things today.”

 

 

The named Taemin nodded as his friend joined them, slowly skating. The latter removed one of his glove and ran his bare hand through his black hair, moving some wet bangs away from his pale forehead. 

 

If he had skills and grace, none could deny that Kibum also had beauty : tall and thin, his white skin made him gleaming, what contrasted a lot with the ebony color of his hair. His face was remarkably and in an unrivaled way symmetrical, his lips were thin and pink, and hid a ravishing smile ; his almond-shaped eyes were dark brown, almost black, and his pupils were glowing with a glint that reminded of the ice’s shine.

 

 

“Do we stop already ?” He asked, taking the water bottle his young friend was handing him and drinking with a great pleasure.

 

“Yes, it’s been an hour.” The elder answered. “You did really well, everything is perfect. You must rest now.”

 

“Jinki, it’s not by resting that I will be the best.”

 

“You won’t be either by being too tired to be fully attentive. Who’s the coach here ?”

 

“You are. But I want to try again, I failed my landing after the Lutz.”

 

“You _failed_ ?” Taemin was surprised. “But hyung, it was perfect !”

 

“No it wasn’t, my foot wasn’t straight and the front of my skate’s blade touched the ice too strongly. I almost got destabilized.”

 

“It’s just a detail, Kibum.” Jinki reassured him, smiling. “It wasn’t even perceptible, so don’t put so much pression on yourself. The training is done for today, end of story. You handled things to perfection and I’m proud of you.”

 

 

The ice-skater nodded and left the balustrade to skate towards the track’s exit. His coach and young friend joined him by walking through the rows of seats and went with him to the cloakroom. There, the dark-haired man removed his skates and handed them to his elder, who cleared them from any ice flake before he put them in a bag in the colors of their club. Taemin contented himself with observing his friend, who seemed imbued with a cold indifference to everything. 

 

Kibum had never been someone really talkative, and he had developed a cold behavior and expression that could let people think that he was emotionless. Of course it wasn’t true, and the young ginger man knew it better than anyone else. He knew the ice-skater since their childhood, when he himself had joined the figure skating club when he had turned eight. His elder was eleven at that time, and Taemin had right away seen a mentor in him despite their young age. 

 

It had been twelve years that they were skating together now, and they had never left each other. If Taemin hadn’t a high enough level yet to participate in something else than national competitions, Kibum would compete to this year’s olympic title. Only three weeks were separating him from the Winter Olympics, and the day after this last training marked his departure to the Finnish capital. The younger man had been allowed by their coach to go with them, not only in order to support his friend but also to observe and learn.

 

Despite he was younger than the other coaches, Jinki considered that the best way to apprehend a higher level was to study in the field. From all of his thirty years of age, he had competed himself for the title his protected was now preparing himself. But he had unfortunately missed his dream and the podium, a bad landing making him lose points and finish with two points behind the bronze medal.

 

But it hadn’t been his disappointment that had made him take his retirement : he had trained in the same club as Kibum and Taemin but he had really known them for only five years, when their shared coach had asked him to replace him for a day. Jinki had quickly become fond of them, and when the unforgettable coach Jung had retired, he had taken up the flag again.

 

He was now filled with pride, thinking that his pupil and friend was going to compete where he himself had failed : he placed great hopes in Kibum, what could make him strict sometimes. But the dark-haired skater had always been extremely serious, failing to being humble. 

 

Yes, this young man was proud, particularly when it came to _his_ figure skating : he wanted to be the best, and he knew he was able to do everything.

 

He had that in common with his universe : the cold and hard side.

 

 

“Is my costume ready ?” He asked as he stood up, adjusting his winter coat’s hood.

 

“Yes, he arrived this morning and all the alterations are done.” Jinki answered, handing him his bag. “You will try it when you want to.”

 

“I didn’t see it yet…” Taemin stated, pouting.

 

“You’ll see it on the D-Day !”

 

 

Kibum tousled his friend’s hair before he left the cloakroom, followed by the other men. Once they got out of the skating rink, the coach left his pupils who took the road for their shared apartment. This night would be the last one they would spend in their own bed, in their own country, before two long months in a foreign country.

 

Their luggages were packed already and even if both young men were trying to look casual, their heart war overwhelmed by apprehension.

 

 

 

__________________

 

 

 

The first thing that hit Kibum when he stepped outside Helsinki-Vantaa airport, was the cold that surrounded his whole body. Though he had thought ahead and had dressed warmly with three layers of clothes ; only his nose was noticeable on his face, the rest of his head being hidden behind a beanie, sunglasses and thick woolen scarf.

 

But the temperature outside wasn’t exceeding zero at this morning hour, and steam was escaping his nostrils each time he exhaled.

 

Following his coach and making sure his young friend wasn’t lagging behind, he walk through the crossing which was let free by some journalists and photographers who had come to welcome the various athletes coming from different countries.

 

But this young Korean skater’s arrival was even more unique in the eyes of the reporters, even though they didn’t know him for now : tons of cameras’ lenses were pointing not at Kibum but at Jinki.

 

The entire world of figure skating had gotten wind of the 2013 South Korean contestant’s conversion, what was making of his pupil one of the favorite of this year’s tournament.  While he was opening one the countless van’s back door, letting both Kibum and Taemin climb in it, the coach agreed to some words to the journalists.

 

 

“Good morning, I feel really grateful and pleased to come back to the Olympics this year.” He calmly said as his eyes were looking out every man, every woman hanging on each one of his words. “But I won’t be the one who will represent South Korea with my country’s other clubs this time, it will be the role of a very talented young man I’m coaching for five years now. As a former athlete, I can objectively assure you that he got all his chances, and I’m respectfully asking you to  support him for his first major competition just like you did with me in the past. Thank you everybody.”

 

 

From habit, Jinki bowed and gave a hand sign before he took place in the van in his turn, the vehicle starting up and hitting the road to the hotel which all figure and speed skating contestants and hockey players would stay in during the Olympics. With his face glued against the window, Taemin was continuously sighing with amazement while gazing at the Finnish streets.

 

 

“Do you see how beautiful it is ?” He was saying every three minutes, watch in hand. “Colors ! Snow !”

 

“We could swear you never saw snow in your life.” Kibum retorted, rolling his eyes as only he can roll them before he stared back at his phone.

 

“You never see anything anyway, hyung.”

 

 

Jinki couldn’t help but laugh, what only had the effect for him to receive a dirty look from the oldest of his pupils. But he was used to it so he didn’t care much about it.

 

 

“Kibum, you must learn how to handle your coldness.” He said, his coach’s tone back. “Taemin could take your words badly, words yet you didn’t mean to be negative.”

 

“He perfectly knows how I am. I would never hurt him, even unintentionally.”

 

“If you say so. But maybe show some interest when he shares something with you.”

 

“Is he four years old, hyung ?”

 

“That’s not the question.”

 

“Actually I’m turning five this year.” Taemin spoke up, sitting in a proper way and with a wide smile on his face.

 

“See ? He’s not hurt, so stop worrying.”

 

 

Kibum handed his clenched fist to his young friend, and the latter smiled even more as he fist bumped with him. Jinki ended up smiling ; it was true that he was often worried about how Taemin could react to his elder’s indifference because he was still young and the kind of person to get amazed about anything. 

 

Amazement was something people usually want to share with their close friends, but in their case… seeing the dark haired male smile was rare. But who could blame him when we knew how much dark things he had gone through at his young age ?

 

The skater hardly talked about his past, it was something that rubbed it in and he had learned all by himself to bury his feelings deep inside him. It had been his way to protect himself from being hurt again : when you don’t have feelings, no one can break you down. And all of this had happened because he had faced too much bad things in a row when he was a teenager.

 

Kibum had only turned twelve when his mother had passed away because of a breast cancer, and this had been the first shock he had faced. He had always had an intensely close relationship with his mom since he had no siblings ; he hadn’t been spoiled, he had had just enough things to be happy. But he had never been the kind of child to become attached to material things.

 

Motherly love had been what had made him happy from the moment he would wake up until the moment he would go to sleep. And when fate had put an end to it, it had broken something inside this little boy’s chest despite his mother had prepared him to face the reality to come.

 

Unfortunately, when the son had looked for his father’s love and attention after this, he hadn’t found anything. Mr. Kim had been so affected by the loss of his wife that he had fallen into alcoholism, what had forced a too young Kibum to take care of his drunken father every single night.

 

Kibum hadn’t been a physically abused child, or he had never felt this way although he had received hits. He had quickly become mature enough to put his dad’s behavior down to alcohol, so he had never really gone angry at him for hitting him. Getting a slap while trying to withdraw a bottle from Mr. Kim’s hands had become routine.

 

In less than three years, alcohol had defeated Kibum’s father, who had drunk way much more than usual on a foggy night before he had taken the wheel. What had had to happen had finally happen : he had lost his car’s control and the vehicle had gone through a bridge’s balustrade and had come to rest in the river.

 

The son hadn’t felt sad nor angry : he had prepared himself to the tragedy that would have happened anyway. The only thing he had thought when the police had come to his house was that, at last, his parents were reunited. It had been enough for him to move on and not remaining the _poor orphan teenager_ he had got known as at school.

 

And during all these had times, ice skating had been his way-out and outlet. By being at one with ice and cold, he had found peace in his tortured quiet mind. Not only ice but also a certain person had helped him a lot without even being aware of it : even if Kibum would never admit it, Taemin’s joy and smile had had that power to bring some warmth in his iced heart.

 

But what had been created to be a simple shell at first had become an entire part of him, as if he couldn’t feel anymore. Or maybe he didn’t want to feel anymore so he was just… used to it. But he could then seem emotionless and vain to strangers.

 

 

“We’re here, boys.”

 

 

Kibum raised his eyes from his phone to see that the van had indeed stopped in front of a huge hotel. Waiting for his coach and friend to get out first, he then followed them and they headed to the reception desk where Jinki asked for their rooms. A very beautiful lady with bright blonde hair and icy blue eyes smiled to him and welcomed him before she handed him two keys.

 

 

“Your rooms are on the fifth floor, your luggages had been brought there already.” She said in a perfect English that was kind off enhanced by her Finnish accent. “ I wish you an enjoyable stay and a good luck for the Olympics !”

 

“Thank you, see you later.” Jinki answered in his own English, making the woman blush, Kibum hiss and Taemin burst out laughing.

 

“For God’s sake, hyung ! Watch your words, don’t you know how to speak English ?” The dark haired skater ranted in his mother tongue before he spoke to the reception lady. “Please forgive my coach, he’s not used to speak another language than ours, my apologies if you thought he was seducing you or something.”

 

“There is nothing wrong, please don’t worry ! Have a good stay in our hotel and don’t hesitate to ask me if you want to visit some places in Finland.”

 

 

Kibum forced a smile to the lady and cleared his throats before he tapped his coach’s arm, showing the elevators with his chin. The three Korean men headed to it and waited for their turn since a lot of skaters were already before the doors.

 

Right in front of them, there was a huge group of men speaking in English and being so loud it made the skater roll his eyes.

 

 

“Geez, those Canadians…” He mumbled. “Always so noisy as if we didn’t understand their country was so perfect and happy already.”

 

“Will you stop criticizing everything you—” Jinki started to scold him with his coach tone when he was interrupted by a loud and deep voice that spoke in Korean like them.

 

“Why don’t you just say it to our face, kiddo ?” 

 

 

The three men turned their head to meet a tall man facing them with his muscular arms crossed before his not less muscular chest. He had brown hair and his facial features couldn’t lie : this guy was Korean.

 

And Kibum knew exactly who he was.

 

 

“Damn, isn’t this Choi Minho ?” He snorted. “How is Canada ? Still no regrets to have left your country and national team for the opponent ?”

 

“Well, Canada is really fine ! Cold, mostly, but just as you said it, very happy.” The so called Minho answered, smirking. “You seem to know me but I don’t have that _pleasure_. You are ?”

 

“He’s Kim Kibum, don’t you know your own country’s skaters ?” Taemin suddenly spoke up, his eyebrows furrowed as he glances at the tall hockey player.

 

“Ho ho ! Looks like you got your own bodyguard, kiddo. And so, the name is ?”

 

“Kibum, Taemin, just stop already.” Jinki sighed. “Do you really think it’s a good idea to get into a fight right now, when we just arrived ?” He turned towards Minho and bowed. “My apologies, Choi Minho-ssi, they’re still kids. You did a great job at the recent Championship, I’ll look forwards to see you play for your team with a great pleasure.”

 

“It’s a great honor to meet you, Lee Jinki-ssi.” The hockey player said as he bowed in his turn, making both Kibum and Taemin raise their eyebrows. “I really was disappointed a few years ago when you didn’t make up to the podium, you deserved to be on it.”

 

“Ah, you know, mistakes happen. The noblest thing to do is to accept to fail and that’s what I did. But thank you.”

 

“So… I heard you became a coach ? I suppose these kids are your pupils.”

 

“Yes, you got it right. Let me introduce you to Kim Kibum, who will compete this year for solo figure skating, and Lee Taemin, who will learn but not compete this time.”

 

“Kim Kibum and Lee Taemin… Yes, I’ve heard about you, didn’t you win the national Championship by taking first and second place, a few months ago ?”

 

“Actually that was two years ago, but I suppose the time difference is hard to handle.” Kibum said, getting surprised when Minho laughed out loud at his sarcasm.

 

“Ah, you must be right ! Well, you chose the right sport to do, Kibum-ssi. Ice, cold, inflexibility…”

 

“So did you, Minho-ssi. Brutality, clumsiness, and you must have knocked your head a lot.”

 

“I like this guy !”

 

 

The ‘ding’ of the elevator interrupted them, and one of the other Canadian hockey players tapped Minho’s arm so he could follow them in the device. Before joining his team-mates, the tall young man looked one last time at the skater.

 

 

“That’s what makes the difference between you and me, kiddo.” He said. “You’re alone while I’m in a team, so I know about trust, sharing, and most of all, modesty. Think about it, it’s good to win but what’s the point when you’re alone ?”

 

“Just call me _kiddo_ once more and my skate’s blade will ruin your pretty face.” Kibum answered without breaking the line of sight between them. “At least, no one will drag me down with them if they fail.”

 

 

Minho only laughed at the answer, thinking that that guy was amazingly vain. When one of his mates called him once again, he bowed to Jinki before entering the elevator ; as the door was closing, he noticed that the young Taemin was still staring at him with a kind of anger.

 

He winked at him.

 

And he laughed when he had the time to see him choke with his own saliva as a reaction, before the door completely closed.

 

 

“Kibum, don’t you dare doing this again.” The coach firmly said once the elevator was going up so no one could understand them. “That was ill-mannered and you weren’t raised this way.”

 

“Raised ? You really want to go down that road, Jinki ?” The skater answered with a not less firm voice.

 

“Hyungs… There are people around us, please don’t fight.” Taemin spoke up as he approached his elders to stand between them, a hand on their arms. “What image are we showing if we fight even before the Olympics start ?”

 

 

Both Jinki and Kibum stared at each other for a few seconds, and the coach could have sworn he noticed the other’s eyes starting to get wet. But it could only be because of anger or humiliation. He sighed and patted his pupils' back.

 

 

“Taemin’s right. Let’s not fight, okay ?” He said. “But please, behave.”

 

 

The young men nodded and they entered the elevator once it came back, making them go up until their floor. There, they walked along the huge corridor until two rooms that were next doors, and both Kibum and Taemin went into the one they were going to share while their coach had his own, smaller.

 

As soon as he got in the room, the youngest of the two skaters couldn’t help but shout with surprise : on the bed had been put a black clothes’ cover, and this could only mean one thing.

 

 

“Is it your costume, hyung ?!” Taemin asked. “Please show me ! Please, please ! I waited long enough !”

 

“You’re unbelievable, aren’t you ?”

 

 

Kibum pretended to be annoyed but the almost unnoticeable smile that raised the corner of his lips betrayed him. His young friend was jumping on his own feet, waiting for him to open the cover.

 

Making the zip go down, the dark haired skater took a splendid item of clothing that was on a hanger. Lifting it, he inspected it under Taemin’s sparkling eyes : it was a wonderful white tracksuit, made with an ethereal fabric that seemed to slightly shine under the light. If the bottom of the suit was just white, the top was enhanced by delicate golden decorations that were running down the shoulders and the torso without being fussy.

 

Indeed, it was the perfect reflection of the person Kibum was : icy cold but with gold inside. Hidden, but there.

 

 

“It is so amazing, it’s beautiful !” The ginger boy said as he was tying his long hair in a messy ponytail. “I can’t wait to see you wearing it.”

 

“I will certainly wear it for my first training, the fabric has to get used to my body and gestures.” His elder said as he put the tracksuit back in its cover. 

 

“By the way, when is it ? And how are the trainings organized since you’re not the only one who has to train ?”

 

“There are trainings in shift. We have three entire weeks before the beginning of the Olympics, and figure skating only starts on the fourth day. So, until then, the staff will assign a sport to each day and make sure every discipline has the same number of hours of training before the first day of competition.”

 

“I see… How many days do we have then ?”

 

“The skating rink will be shared between figure skaters, speed skaters and hockey players. So we’ll have seven days for figure skating, but it’s more complicated than that… Each one of these seven days will be divided in as many parts as there are categories.”

 

“Let me count. Male solo, female solo, couples, ice dancing and then team skating. That’s five.”

 

“Exactly. Each day dedicated to figure skating will be divided in five parts of equal time. In one day, there are twenty-four hours but they only take twenty to let the rink opened, so they can clean and prepare it during the last four hours. Figure out.”

 

“If I divide twenty by five… four ?”

 

“My God, you’re so gifted !”

 

“Am I ?”

 

“A five years old child would have found it too, Taemin.” Kibum couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, four. I will have four hours per day to train at the same time as the other male soloists. Figure out again.”

 

“Hum… seven times four is twenty-nine.”

 

“Twenty-eight.”

 

“That’s what I said.”

 

“Of course. Well, you know everything. I’ll have twenty-eight training hours until the beginning of the Olympics, starting tomorrow.”

 

“And how will you know at what hour you train ?”

 

“There will be a board at the entrance of the rink that will give us the hours for the week. It has to be fair so I won’t train at the same hours every time.”

 

“You mean you can train from five to nine in the morning or from eight in the evening to midnight ?”

 

“Exactly. But I also plan to watch the other categories training, even couples. It’s always interesting to see how they move. You should come with me.”

 

“Actually… I wanted to watch the hockey trainings.”

 

“Why ? It’s not our discipline. Wait. Don’t you dare telling me you just developed a crush for that Choi Minho.”

 

“I don’t ! I want to watch Kai training !”

 

“Kai ?”

 

“Yes, Kai. Come on, hyung, he’s my best friend at school and he’s in the Korean ice hockey team !”

 

“You meant Kim Jongin ! For God’s sake, he has a name, Taemin, just call him by it. But don’t count on me to go with you. I hate this brutal sport.”

 

“Fine !”

 

 

Taemin let a deep sigh out as he pretended to be disappointed, but Kibum was so used to it for years that of course, it didn’t work. They busied themselves by storing their clothes in their shared wardrobe while talking about everything and nothing, until the tiredness of the flight caught them up, making them lie on their respective bed and quickly fall asleep.

 

 

 

__________________

 

 

 

It was almost nine in the morning on the day after their arrival, and Kibum was already sitting on one of the countless seats of the skating rink’s rows. Call it luck or not, the first day of training had been assigned to figure skating, and his category’s training would be from one to five in the afternoon. 

 

But as he had told Taemin the day before, he had decided to watch and learn from the other categories, and so here he was before his own training, waiting for the second category’s training : couples skating. The team skating training had just ended after four intense hours that had started at five in the morning, and the rink was getting done again by two ice resurfacers.

 

Since there were a lot of contestants and not enough place for all of them to properly train, a second board had been set up so the rink could also be shared in shifts between the different couples. Every half an hour, one of the five couples would make way to another one and make the most of the opportunity to drink water and work on their sequence’s theory with their coach, before going back on ice when their turn would come again.

 

Soon, the first set of couples went down on the ice and took place in their designed part of the rink, right when Taemin and Jinki joined their mate with some breakfast.

 

 

“Here ! I chose some things I knew, they had French croissants !” The youngest skater joyfully said. “But hyung brought some local things too, so you can try.”

 

“Thank you.” Kibum said as he let his friend sit next to him.

 

“Did it start already ?”

 

“Just now. But there is no Korean couple yet.”

 

“Let’s just eat then !”

 

 

During an entire hour, the three men ate by small bites while carefully watching the other skaters train, Kibum meticulously taking some notes in a notebook. When Taemin had asked why it was so important to watch couples when they were soloists, his coach had explained to him for Kibum.

 

Because the most important on ice wasn’t the gender, it was as useful to watch a man skating when you were a man than to watch a woman. Because grace and lightness were often easier for female skaters than for males, it was interesting to see how they would move on the ice, around the rink and around their partner.

 

Jinki had always told his pupils that skating alone and skating with a partner both had their own difficulties : alone, you don't have to care for someone else than yourself and so, you can focus on your own steps only ; but with a partner, you learn how to trust, especially when you’re the female skater, and more than that, you can rely on your partner when you start to feel lost or when you just need a sort of comfort.

 

Stress was the worst enemy to have when you were an athlete, but it was mostly inevitable. That was the advantage when you were skating with a partner or a team : counting on someone to cheer you up, even quietly, with a smile or a special glance. 

 

 

“Looking back, I would have liked to do couple skating.” Taemin suddenly said. “But I don’t think I can lift a girl as if she was a feather.”

 

“It’s all about cladding, you know.” His coach answered, smiling. “If the woman contracts her muscles enough, then it’s easier to lift her.”

 

“But what if she falls when you lift her ?”

 

“It’s a risk, but it’s not regular, since she holds on to the man too. That’s the key in couple skating : trust and cooperation.”

 

“The Korean couple is here.”

 

 

Kibum had spoken up when one of the couples had left the ice to make way to the next. Slowly sliding along the ice, close to each other, a young couple joined their place and they stopped a few seconds to talk, as if they were planning what they were going to do.

 

The three men stared at them and the first thing they all thought was that both the Korean skaters weren’t tall. The man was actually smaller than the average but what was impressive was that he didn’t have the physique of a figure skater : he was muscular, and maybe it was his small height that was giving this impression. When mostly skaters were tall and thin, he looks more like a hockey player.

 

With his dyed white and messy hair, and his sharp jawbone, no one could deny that he was handsome. And he seemed to manage pretty well, Kibum thought when he saw him start skating.

 

The woman was also a very beautiful woman, with his pale skin and her long brown hair tied in a ponytail. Her face seemed common at first, but when she slid in front of them before going back to her partner, the three men’s jaws almost fell off. She was incredibly beautiful and her traits had something unique but they couldn’t say what.

 

When the couple made a perfect _porté_ as if it was the easiest thing to do on Earth, Taemin held his breath ; but the woman landed with so much lightness when her partner put her back on the ice that she seemed to weigh like a feather.

 

 

“Do you know them, hyung ?” The ginger boy asked his coach, his eyes never leaving the couple.

 

“I don’t know them personally since they’re in another club.” Jinki answered. “But I know their names : Kim Jonghyun and Bae Jooyeon, better known under her stage name Irene.”

 

“Irene ?”

 

“Yes, she decided to have an international stage name, so she’s introduced as Bae Irene during competitions.” 

 

“They seem so close to each other, they even laugh together while training…”

 

“Yes, they’re skating together as a couple for ten years, they—”

 

“This is ridiculous.”

 

 

Both Jinki and Taemin turned their head towards Kibum, who snorted before staring at his notebook.

 

 

“Why do you say that ?” His friend asked, surprised. “Don’t you see how well they’re skating ?”

 

“They may be skating well.” The dark haired skater retorted. “But they’re not serious at all, it’s like they’re skating for fun, like a hobby. We’re here for the Olympics, not for an end of a year show.”

 

“You’re being rude and unfair, Kibum.” Jinki said, sighing. “At least, they love what they’re doing.”

 

“Well, they will stop smiling when he will drop her. Look at his legs, they’re trembling each time he put her on the ice.”

 

“You’re exaggerating, hyung. He’s not trembling at all or it’s not even perceptible !”

 

“Leave him alone, Taeminnie. He’s trying to persuade himself of bad things because he thinks Kim Jonghyun is charming.”

 

“Really ?!”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Jinki.”

 

 

While his coach laughed out loud and his young friend was desperately trying to make him talk, Kibum remained quiet and stared at the Korean couple skating.

 

They may be gifted. But they were too much inattentive, especially that Kim Jonghyun. With his hair that seems so soft to the touch, and the way his almond shaped eyes were almost closing when he was laughing with his partner… he was playing, not training.

 

This wasn’t a kind of recreation and this guy wasn’t serious in his skating. And Kibum hated frivolity and light-minded persons.

 

He was so lost into his negative thoughts that he noticed too late that he was staring at the skater, who had unfortunately caught him in the act. When he finally snapped out of it, the raven haired man cleared his throat and pretended nothing had happened, but when that Kim Jonghyun smiled and winked at him, he lost it.

 

Hissing, Kibum glanced at him with his ice-like cold eyes before turning towards another couple. But he could hear that the skater was laughing.

 

What was this idiot thinking about, exactly ? Winking at him this nonchalantly when he was supposed to train ? Geez, definitely a person to avoid.

 

 

 

⛸

 


	2. Thunder

_**2\. Thunder** _

 

 

 

“The training time for couples has now come to an end, please leave the rink. The next category will start the training in ten minutes, we ask the contestants for men’s singles to respect the shifts by checking the board before the rink’s entrance. Thank you for your patience.”

 

 

The male voice had resounded in the speakers of the rink, making the five last couples on ice cease their activity. They were slowly skating through the several exits to let the resurfacers do their job before the start of the next category’s training.

 

The Korean couple was giggling together, and they both glanced at the three men who were still sitting in their seats. It only last a second before the white haired man smirked and whispered something to his partner, making her friendly hit him on the shoulder. Kibum noticed it of course, and snorted before he caught his skaters in his bag.

 

 

“You’re going first, hyung ?” Taemin asked.

 

“Yes, I’m the second name of the first set.” His friend answered as he put his skaters on. “We’ll have to move a bit, my place is on the other side of the rink.”

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll bring your things there. Let me help you.”

 

 

Saying those words, Jinki made a sign towards Taemin who immediately stood up and started gathering their things, while himself was kneeling to help his pupil with his laces. As his coach, he knew exactly how to tighten then to perfection, so the skater won’t compress the feet nor rub them.

 

It was something usual between him and his two protected, and both Kibum and Taemin would always let him do despite it could seem strange to others. It was Jinki’s way to be part of their preparation, to take care of the smallest thing for them. He wasn’t just their coach, he had become their elder and friend with the years passing, and it was not for displease the three of them.

 

Once the laces were well done, the skater thanked his coach and gave him his jacket before he left to join the balustrade, waiting for the rink to open again so their heating could start.

 

 

“Where do we go ?” The youngest man asked, his arms weighed down with his friend’s bags — Kibum would never go anywhere without a second bag with some private things.

 

“Opposite there, do you see the woman with the blue jacket ?” Jinki said, showing the lady with his chin before he took one of the bags from Taemin’s hands.

 

“Yeah, let’s go.”

 

 

The two men started walking through the rows of seats when the surfacers left the rink, allowing the five first skaters to go down on ice.

 

Heating was essential and obligatory before every training ; it wasn’t something difficult, the skaters would just skate and take the path around the rink for a short period of six minutes. It was a way to heat their muscles up and to make them get used to skating. Because yes, even for professionals, the first steps on ice were sometimes clumsy.

 

Kibum was skating slowly, letting the four other men pass him. He rolled his eyes when he heard one of them ranting after him being so slow ; this stupid guy certainly was the kind to forget about sensuality in figure skating. Speed wasn’t necessary in this sport, only to gather momentum before a jump.

 

But him ? He didn’t like speed. If he had any interest in speed, well, he would have chosen speed skating. No need to say this guy would be easy to beat.

 

The raven haired man skated to the balustrade where his coach was waiting for him with his elbows resting on it.

 

 

“Did you heat up well ?” Jinki asked.

 

“Yes, I’m ready.” Kibum answered as he removed his jacket to only be with a t-shirt made of a special fabric to prevent him from cold. “What do we train to, today ?”

 

“Since you’re second on the list, we’ll spend two entire hours on ice before you let way to someone else. We’ll do some jumps only in the last half-hour.”

 

“Got it. So just steps and spins for now ?”

 

“Yes, you’ll train for the first part of your short program first, do you need me to remind you the list of spins ?”

 

“No, it’s fine, I got them in mind.”

 

“Then what are you waiting for, you lazy person ?”

 

 

Kibum slightly smiled before he skated backwards to take place on his ice spot, making Jinki smile in his turn. Even the slightest smile on the skater’s lips was worth taking since they were rare ; and what’s rare is even more sincere.

 

Without waiting for a signal from his coach, the skater starts sliding around his spot — thankfully large enough — under Taemin’s admirative eyes. The young boy was sitting on his seat with a bottle of banana milk in the hand, but the straw couldn’t stay in his opened mouth.

 

His friend was only doing steps for now, so he was skating on straight lines and bends with different ways of placing his skaters and legs. Steps were also part of the scoring since a program couldn’t be made only of spins and jumps : it needed things between. But these were the easier ones, the ones that didn’t make a lot of points since this was just… skating.

 

Kibum was skating forwards and backwards, playing with his own legs to go from one to another, and he was only heating up by skating on one foot. Taemin knew exactly how his elder was organized, so he understood that he was going to start with some spirals soon.

 

Steps in figure skating were also called moves in the field, because it was literally about moving through the whole rink with artistic but not less technical gestures like spirals, which were elements where the skater was sliding on the ice on only one foot while lifting their free leg above their hip level.

 

Some spirals needed more flexibility than others and so, were more executed by women ; but that was the originality in Kibum’s skating : even though he was born a male, he had the incredible capacity to move both like a man and a woman. He could be strong and rough just as he could be smooth and delicate, and this androgynous way of skating had made him famous in South Korea during his several tournaments.

 

This is how he wanted to surprise both the judges and audience during the Olympics : by showing both his masculinity and femininity through his gestures and also his costume. The cut of his tracksuit was indeed as androgynous as he was himself, really close-hitting and revealing his delicate curves as his thin waist was emphasized.

 

The sleeves were long and pointed at the end, the tip being secured to Kibum's middle fingers by a cloth ring sewn into the fabric, and what was reminding about feminine costumes was that one of the sleeves was transparent. The skater’s milky skin was embellished by a crystalline fabric that made his arm slightly going thanks to the ice’s reflection.

 

This costume was a promise to a subtle program which would make the difference. 

 

After he heated up enough with some basic steps, Kibum slowly put his left foot on a forward edge, his leg slightly bending while the other one was straight and trailing behind. He then spread his arms in an extremely delicate way, from his shoulders to the end of his fingers, before he made his upper body bend backwards while sliding on ice in this position, showing off his incredible flexibility — rare for a male.

 

 

“An Ina Bauer, wow.”

 

 

Taemin jumped with surprise when he heard the amazed voice interrupting his contemplation, and he frowned when his owner sat next to him. But he raised his thin eyebrows as soon as he recognized the Korean skater they had watched during the couples’ training.

 

 

“He’s pretty flexible, I couldn’t bend that much.” The intruder said before he whistled with admiration.

 

“Kibum’s favorite spiral is the Ina Bauer, he masters it since he’s sixteen years old.” The ginger boy retorted, straightening up and sticking up his chest to show his pride.

 

“He must be honored to have a fan like you, isn’t he ?”

 

 

The white haired skater smiled before he offered his hand to Taemin.

 

 

“I’m Jonghyun.” He said. “Kim Jonghyun, contestant for the couples category.”

 

“Lee Taemin.” The boy answered as he bowed his upper body and took Jonghyun’s hand, letting him shake it. “I don’t compete, I’m just here to cheer my friend on.”

 

“I see that, and I suppose you’re a skater too ?”

 

“H-How do you know ?”

 

“Well, I’m observing you for ten minutes now, and you seem really focused on your friend’s gestures, as if you were learning from him. You nods a lot.”

 

“I’m really obvious, am I not ? My coach keeps telling me…”

 

“There is nothing wrong in being obvious. Except when you’re trying to seduce someone, you better not be too obvious.”

 

 

The ginger boy couldn’t help but laugh at the skater’s words that he even supported with a suggestive wink. It was strange to meet him in person after having watched him being professional for two hours straight. 

 

This Jonghyun seemed to be a really kind and soft person… and he had eyes only for Kibum at that instant.

 

 

“Your friend doesn’t seem to like me.” He said, smiling as his eyes were following the raven haired male’s gestures. “Oh, such a delicate arabesque.”

 

“Don’t mind him, he doesn’t like… strangers ?” Taemin tried to reassure him. “But he’s really kind, deep down.”

 

“I will greet him once he takes a break.”

 

“You sure ?”

 

“Is he this dangerous ?” Jonghyun laughed. “We’re competing for the same country, of course I will greet him. And I saw how he stared at me earlier.”

 

“Oh, that ! Please don’t take it for yourself ! No, I mean… hum… don’t take it this way, he was just observing your skating and he even said you weren’t serious enou— oh my God, I’m sorry, that’s not what I wanted to say…”

 

 

The white haired male raised his eyebrows before he bursted into laughters, making Taemin jump with surprise once again. Why was this person laughing this way when he had just heard about someone criticizing him ?

 

 

“Don’t panic !” He said as he wiped his tears. “Wow, this guy must be really dangerous since you’re afraid of me approaching him !”

 

“It’s not that…” The youngest man said, scratching his head. “He just doesn’t talk with other people than the coach and I, he may be uncomfortable.”

 

“Don’t worry about that, actually I-”

 

“Excuse me, are you looking for something ?”

 

 

Both Taemin and Jonghyun raised their head to see Jinki standing in front of them, his arms crossed on his chest and one of his eyebrows furrowed.

 

 

“Oh, hyung, this is Kim Jonghyun.” The ginger stood up. “He wanted to meet Kibum hyung since they’re both competing for Korea.”

 

“I see, that’s why you weren’t focused on the steps Kibum was practicing.” The coach said with a firm voice. “Taemin-ah, I allowed you to come only to watch and learn, I told you I would let you go cheer the hockey players and hang out with your friend once the trainings are done, so please don’t play now.”

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“Actually, it’s my fault, sir.” Jonghyun stood up in his turn and bowed before Jinki. “I came to him and distracted him, I knew he was learning but I talked a lot. I’m quite talkative but it’s not his fault, my apologies.”

 

 

The coach stared at him with his severe look but he ended up smiling and bowing to great the skater.

 

 

“That’s fine, I’m not really scolding him.” He said. “Thank you for clarifying this misunderstanding. Lee Jinki, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

 

“The pleasure is all mine !” The white haired man said out loud as he shook the other adult’s hand with intensity. “I’m really glad to finally meet you in person, I watched you in 2013 ! Actually you almost made me want to quit couple skating to train for singles too.”

 

“I’m relieved you stayed in your category then, I heard you’re training for a decade with your partner. It would have been too bad for you to quit only because of me.”

 

“You don’t have to worry anymore, Irene and I are really happy to compete as a couple today. I mean, a couple of skaters, we’re not a real couple.”

 

“Thank you for the precision. Well, you wanted to meet Kibum, if I understood well ?”

 

“Yes ! Since we’re both competing for Korea… I think it’s normal for me to greet and cheer him. He would do the same for me.”

 

“Actually, no, he wouldn’t. But please go on. Just… don’t mind his potential negative reactions, he’s special when it comes to human contact.”

 

 

Jonghyun raised an eyebrow but the coach smiled at him before he showed the rink with his chin. Down there, Kibum was drinking water with one of his legs lifted, the calf put on the balustrade to stretch. Ice flakes were still ornamenting the blade of his white skater, but he had untied its laces so his foot could _breathe_ a bit. 

 

Dark bangs were falling on his forehead, slightly wet by sweat while his cheeks were glowing with a pink tone due to his previous efforts. Although jumps were the most tiring figures, steps weren’t less difficult since it needed a perfect balance between flexibility and strength.

 

Without hesitating a second more, Jonghyun walked down the stairs to the balustrade while Jinki was showing a video record of his pupil to Taemin, explaining him what he still had to work to do the same.

 

When he reached the skater, the ivory haired male smiled at him and waved his hand.

 

 

“Hi ! Sorry to interrupt your training but I got your coach’s permission.” He joyfully said. “I’m Kim Jonghyun.”

 

“So what ?”

 

 

Kibum had spat these two words without even looking up towards the visiter, making the latter stand gaping because of so much coldness. 

 

 

“Huh… well, we’re both skating for Korea right ?” Jonghyun started explaining himself as the raven haired man put his skater back on the ice to lift his other leg, stretching it in its turn. “I thought it would be the least I could do to greet you. I saw you skating just now, you’re really good and flexible, it’s impressive.”

 

“Okay, now that you spoke twice already, maybe you can use your third and last sentence to tell me something I don’t know ?” The other sighed.

 

“I’m good looking.”

 

“I beg your pardon ?”

 

“You would know it if you were looking at me when I’m talking to you.”

 

 

Kibum raised an eyebrow as the sudden frank words, and he finally looked up, his dark iced eyes meeting soft chocolate ones. But there wasn’t any anger in them, as his last sentence could have implied ; actually, the sparkling orbs were like... smiling, as Jonghyun’s lips.

 

 

“There, now you look at me.” He said before he offered his hand to the other skater. “So let me repeat for you. I’m Kim Jonghyun, you watched me earlier. I’m competing for Korea too but you knew it already, I just wanted to greet you as someone from my team.”

 

“We’re not a team.” Kibum answered, ignoring the hand.

 

“Ah~ you’re really bitter, aren’t you ? At least you know how to skate.”

 

“ _At least_? My apologies but who are you to tell me that, when you can’t lift your partner without trembling ?”

 

“Apologies accepted, it’s okay to be jealous.”

 

“J-Jealous ?”

 

 

The cold skater suddenly bursted out of a sarcastic laughter that didn’t even impress Jonghyun, who laughed with him. _That_ , however, shook Kibum enough to make him stop.

 

 

“What a pretty laugh !” The white haired male said, making his opponent shiver. “Don’t worry for me, I know my skating isn’t as perfect as some other skaters here, I don’t even know if my partner and I will reach the podium this year.”

 

“Why are you here then ?” The other male ironically asked. “This is Olympics, not a school trip.”

 

“Oh, it’s an honor to be here. Actually, Irene and I won some tournaments before, enough to be able to participate in the qualifiers. And here we are, so you know… we are as worth being there as you are.”

 

“Yeah, with the difference that I know I _will_ reach the podium. If you don’t have self confidence, how can you wish to win ?”

 

“ _That_ is not being self-confident. That’s being vain. But it’s okay, each person has his own way to hide his sensibility and flaws. You chose the ice wall, I chose to enjoy what I’m doing no matter what.”

 

“Well, that’s stupid. You certainly won’t win if you think this way.”

 

 

Without saying anything more, Kibum threw the bottle of water in the open bag and left the balustrade to slide away, stretching his neck while tracing a circle on ice. As he noticed his pupil had gone back to training, Jinki let Taemin to join the white haired male, who was still a bit surprised by the words he had just heard.

 

Looking at him, the coach smiled. He was used to people being hit by his protected’s rude words, but this one didn’t seem hurt. He was just speechless and hard thinking.

 

 

“Did he say something impolite to you ?” The elder asked, leaning on his elbows on the balustrade as his eyes were following Kibum’s steps.

 

“I wouldn’t say he was impolite.” Jonghyun replies with his calm voice. “Actually, he remained courteous but his words were harsh and well chosen.”

 

“Yes, he knows what words to choose when it comes to protect himself. I hope you won’t mind this incident and still cheer him during his trials.”

 

“Of course I will, he’s still from my country. I’m disappointed that he won’t do the same, I would have appreciated to have such a talented skater cheering me on.”

 

“Really, do you think he’s talented ?”

 

 

Jonghyun slightly smiled as he lowered his head to stare at his feet, suddenly feeling both admirative and embarrassed.

 

 

“Lee Jinki-ssi…” He started saying. “I was a big fan of yours, so when I heard that you were training two skaters for singles, I immediately started to follow their success. Each time my own skating schedules would have let me, I would have attended any tournament your pupils would have participated to.”

 

“So you do know them, you didn’t come to us today without knowing anything.” Jinki said, smiling in his turn.

 

“Yes, I know what they won, what they lost, I also know what are Kim Kibum’s favorite figures.”

 

“Really ?”

 

“I know his favorite spiral is the Ina Bauer and Taemin reminded me about it earlier. I also know he loves Lutz jumps and can master a quadruple without any difficulty.”

 

“That’s true. How do you know about that ? He never said it.”

 

 

Once again, the white haired skater smiled while staring at Kibum, who was practicing some basic one-foot spins on his own.

 

 

“I noticed it myself. His expressions are often closed when he skates, but his eyes seem to smile when he does an Ina Bauer or his quadruple Lutz. I don’t know how to say it, but I noticed his expressions are slightly different during these two figures.”

 

 

The coach stared at this young skater beside him without saying anything. Jonghyun’s words were interesting to hear since they were the truth itself ; Kibum’s favorite figures were indeed the Ina Bauer and the Lutz jumps, with a preference for the quadruple since it was the one that made a lot of points.

 

But what was more surprising was that someone else than Taemin and him had noticed this extremely slight, almost unnoticeable change on the skater’s face when he would master one of these two figures. Jinki had always thought that only people really close to Kibum and so, aware of his personality, could be able to notice this, but it turned out to be wrong.

 

Kim Jonghyun, a perfect stranger to Kim Kibum, with only figure skating as a common point, had seen it. And this wasn’t something to ignore.

 

 

“Kibum is someone very closed.” The coach said as he made a special hand sign to his pupil for him to understand he must train his sitting spins. “He doesn’t talk often and it’s really difficult to enter his mind. That’s why this sport is really important to him.”

 

“It’s his release.” The white haired man nodded. “I know that, it’s the same for me. I’m talkative and I have no problem with talking about my issues, but skating helps me to get rid of negativity.”

 

“You’re the same, indeed. But do never say this to him, he would slap the shit out of you.”

 

“Would he ? He doesn’t seem violent.”

 

“He can be when you really go beyond his limits. He hates to be compared to others, or put on the same level than them. He wants to be alone.”

 

“Fact is… being alone is his weakness right now. In figure skating, I mean.”

 

“What do you mean ?”

 

“Ah, nevermind, it’s not my right to criticize his work. I must know my place.”

 

 

Suddenly, Jinki laughed, making Jonghyun stare at him with surprise. Even Taemin heard it and his eyes left his friend’s movements for a minute to look at his coach. 

 

 

“You can criticize him.” The former champion said. “I’m sure it will be constructive and as his coach, it’s always interesting for me to know about other’s opinion on his skating. I take positive and negative comments.”

 

“Are you sure ? Because the problem comes from him, not from you, so I don’t want you to think you’re a bad coach.” Jonghyun answered, scratching his head with embarrassment.

 

“Go on, don’t be afraid. I won’t bite you.”

 

“Fine… I think that he’s been alone for a too long time. Not that it’s not good ! His technical is on point, it really is, it amazes me how easily he skates, spins, jumps. But… he lacks performance.”

 

“You’re right.”

 

 

Both Jonghyun and Taemin raised their eyebrows at the coach’s words, and the ginger boy discreetly came closer to the two adults to hear more about the criticism of his friend and mentor.

 

 

“Am I…?” The skater asked, still shocked.

 

“Yes, you are. He lacks performance.” Jinki stated. “That’s why I’m afraid of his scoring during Olympics, but I’ve never been able to teach him how to open his heart to the judges and the audience. I tried hard, but this doesn’t match his personality.”

 

“Do you think he can’t put feelings in his skating or he doesn’t want to ?”

 

“Both. Sadly… both.”

 

“You don’t seem to know what to do about that.”

 

“It’s difficult because performance has always been natural for me, when I was skating. Taemin too has no difficulties to show the depths of him, he will sure be a wonderful performer when he will reach Olympics. But Kibum…”

 

“Maybe I can help ?”

 

“Stop that, hyung !”

 

 

Taemin’s voice had resounded, making both men turn around to face him. The boy had stood up and he had joined them, his eyes screaming his anger.

 

 

“Taemin-ah, what’s wrong ?” Jinki asked, immediately feeling worried.

 

“How can you say such things about Kibum hyung to a stranger ?!” The young skater almost cried, so upset that he was about to cry. “You’re literally saying that he has no artistic skills !”

 

“No, this is not what I said. I said that Kibum lacks performance.”

 

“Where is the difference ?!”

 

“Performance, young lad, is the feelings you share with the persons who watch you.” Jonghyun spoke up, his voice smooth as he put his hand on Taemin’s shoulder to show him he wasn’t an enemy. “Your friend has incredible technical skills, and his artistic skills are not bad at all ! But he must _move_ people when he skates.”

 

“But he does ! He moves _me_ !”

 

“This is not enough, Taemin.” The coach said in his turn. “Of course he moves you, you’re his most faithful admirer for twelve years. But he doesn’t move the judges enough.”

 

“And the audience ? People are always amazed when he skates ! Don’t tell me you never heard them cheering him.”

 

“I heard them. But how many times did I tell him that he could have won more points in interpretation ? How many times ?”

 

“A lot of times…”

 

“See. Of course Kibum is gifted, I never said he wasn’t. His scoring is always really high, but now, we’re at the Olympics. And I can tell you he won’t win first place because of his interpretation. You do know I tried my best, but this is something only him can improve, on his own.”

 

 

Taemin bits his lip as anger was slowly calming down, but he was still disappointed to hear those words from his coach’s mouth. 

 

 

“Can I leave the rink ?” He asked after clearing his throat.

 

“Excuse me ?”

 

“I don’t want to stay here with you speaking about Kibum hyung like this. I will calm down alone but I can’t focus on him right now. Please, coach, let me leave the rink.”

 

 

Jinki sighed but nodded to allow his second pupil to leave, what the ginger obeyed immediately to by taking his things and bowing before Jonghyun, then crossing the rows of seats until the exit.

 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to cause tensions between your student and you…” Jonghyun apologized but was welcomed by a hand waving in a negative way.

 

“It’s fine, he’s still a kid although he’s twenty.” The coach said. “He must learn to face reality even when it’s hard, and to stop putting Kibum on such a crystal pedestal.”

 

“He’s young, he sees a mentor in his friend.”

 

“Where is Taemin running to ?”

 

 

Kibum had just arrived to the balustrade with his eyebrows furrowed, and Jinki sighed once again before turning towards him. The icy eyes were staring at him, then at Jonghyun, and there was no need to explain for the skater to understand what could have happened.

 

 

“Did you scold him, hyung ?” He asked.

 

“Lower your tone, Kibum, I’m not your friend right now.” Jinki firmly said. “Taemin asked me to leave after we had an argument about something related to skating.”

 

“Let me guess who started it ?”

 

“Why do you look at me ?” Jonghyun raised his eyebrows.

 

“Maybe because since you’re standing there, there are only problems.”

 

“Kibum.” The coach spoke up. “You better behave in front of Kim Jonghyun, and not do the same thing you did with the Canadians yesterday. He has the courtesy to come to cheer you, the least you can do is to show him respect, even more since he’s your elder.”

 

“But he’s my junior.”

 

“Who cares ? He’s your elder before being your junior. Now you better stop playing the teenager, you’re twenty-three so behave like so.”

 

“Please don’t scold him, I really didn’t want to cause tensions !” Jonghyun said as he stepped backwards and bowed.

 

“Well, that’s what you did though !” Kibum coldly said before talking to his coach. “You’re not even looking at me when I’m training ! I just did the same damn spin six times and you didn’t notice anything ! Maybe I should leave too ? Maybe we should go back to Korea and give up ? Or maybe I should find someone else to coach me.”

 

“Kim Kibum.” Jinki almost shouted before making his voice softer but not less firm. “I _am_ your coach, and _you_ are the one who’s not behaving right. We were talking about your skills, and if you were mature enough, you would have trained on your own for five minutes instead of doing the same thing six times only to try drawing my attention. Do you need me to give you a speech once again or are you old enough to know what I’m going to tell you ?”

 

“I need you to coach _me_. I need you to be there, to be there for _me_ and no one else, can’t you understand that ?”

 

“I’m a nuisance for your training, Kibum-sunbaenim, please accept my apologies.” Jonghyun suddenly said as he bowed. “You are very lucky to have such a good coach, and I’m sorry if I distracted him. You indeed need to have someone with you since it’s your first Olympics. I understand you’re afraid. But I know you’ll do just fine. I’ll leave you now, thank you for the talk, Lee Jinki-ssi.”

 

 

Without waiting for and answer, the white haired male smiled at Kibum, a soft and sincere smile, before he left them to join his partner who was waiting for him to go eat something. A heavy silent fell on the skater and his coach, and the former bit his lip ; he didn’t mean to argue with Jinki, even less in front of someone else.

 

Furthermore, the other skater’s words were resounding in his mind ; he had used a lot of words that had made him shiver, that had let him shook. _Vain_. _Hide_ _his sensibility and flaws_ behind an _ice wall_. And maybe the most important one, _afraid_.

 

It was the first time a stranger was using so much words or expressions in a short time that were the exact truth behind his actions and behavior. That was scary.

 

But what was scarier at that instant was that Jinki wasn’t saying anything ; he was remaining silent and Kibum felt bad inside. He could be rude sometimes, but he hated to hurt Taemin or his coach’s feelings when they were always here for him. He would never say it out loud nor really show it but he cared for them.

 

 

“Hyung… I’m sorry if I yelled at you, I didn’t control it.” He apologized, lowering his eyes, then his head as he made a move to hide his hands behind his back.

 

“It’s fine, Kibummie.” The coach finally said, more in a whisper than out loud as he prevented the gesture by taking his pupil’s hands in his. “You were right, I should look at you when you’re training and even more now that we’re here. What did you practice six times ?”

 

“Nothing, actually… I lied under the influence of anger. I’m sorry.”

 

“You really are something, kid.”

 

 

Jinki smiled and hugged him for a moment, not too long since he knew Kibum wasn’t really comfortable with it, but enough to make him understand he was sorry and that he would always be there for him as his coach and friend.

 

 

“Now, we have one hour left.” He then said as he straightened up. “Should we practice some spins more and go on with jumps ?”

 

“Yes, let’s do that. I have the half Biellman to practice, maybe I can turn it into a full Biellman… And I have to practice my quadruples.”

 

“Don’t rush yourself, Kibum. There is time, it’s just the first day. Show me your half Biellman.”

 

 

Kibum slightly smiled, once again without it being noticeable, and went back on his ice spot to train. Jinki’s eyes didn’t leave him one second, but his mind was preoccupied. He was focusing enough on his pupil’s figures but he was also thinking about the last thing Kim Jonghyun had told him.

 

_Maybe I can help ?_

 

What had he meant by that…

 

Sliding on the ice, Kibum’s mind was deeply focused on his figures. But somewhere, deep inside him, something was hitting him and calling for his attention on the way this handsome skater with ivory bangs and sweet smile had spoken to him.

 

What had he meant by that…

 

 

 

_____________________

 

 

 

“Where are you ?” Taemin asked on the phone with his best friend as he was angrily walking out of the skating rink. “I need to see someone kind in this world.”

 

“Wow, did your coach scold you ?” Jongin asked in return, his deep voice betraying his worries. “I’m at the hotel with the team, we’re playing billiards with the Canadians.”

 

“The Canadians ? You mean the Canadian hockey team ?”

 

“Yes, you know them ?”

 

“Only Choi Minho. He had an argument with Kibum hyung yesterday.”

 

“Why am I not surprised by your friend ?”

 

“Oh, shut up. I’m coming, save me a cue.”

 

“Sure, see you !”

 

 

The ginger boy hung up and walked towards the hotel with his hands in his jacket’s pockets. He was still angry at his coach for having told such rude things about Kibum. But he was more angry by the fact that… he was right.

 

Even tho he was his biggest fan, Taemin couldn’t lie and say that his friend was the best actor ever. But he couldn’t agree with the fact that such an amazing skater could never learn to express his feelings more. When you can master a quadruple Lutz, you can learn how to show emotions, for God’s sake !

 

He had just felt disappointed by the idea his coach had given up on teaching Kibum how to open his heart and mind. And the way had said that he knew they wouldn’t win… it had hurt. And the ginger had to think about something else for his day not to be ruined at only two in the afternoon.

 

When he reached the hotel’s entrance door, he was surprised by the silence. He had expected to hear a lot of noise even from the outside if ice hockey teams were playing billiards together. 

 

The amusement arcade was a very huge place, right on the left after the reception desk. It was only opened for customers who had their room’s card with them, and thankfully, Taemin hadn’t lost his yet. 

 

When he entered the arcade, he immediately recognized his best friend who waved at him, and he smiled before joining him. He was holding two cues, standing before an already busy billiard table where the second player was calculating his next move. There weren’t a lot of balls left, only two red ones and three yellow ones.

 

 

“Tell me you’re the red ones, Kai.” Taemin said as he hugged his friend before taking the cue he had saved for him.

 

“No, I’m the yellow ones, but I have a strong opponent.” Jongin replies, laughing. “I will certainly have to pay my round soon.”

 

“Then count me in. I need a drink.”

 

“Did your coach scold you that bad ?”

 

“No, he didn’t. But he said bad and unfair things about Kibum hyung so I got angry.”

 

“Did he ? But you always told me he was constantly praising him for his skills ?”

 

“He does. But I don’t know, today he started speaking with some skater about him, saying he wouldn’t win since he couldn’t have the interpretation points. They talked about him as if he was the coldest person on Earth !”

 

 

Jongin couldn’t help but laugh.

 

 

“Yah, hyung, you have to admit they’re right.” He said, tapping his friend’s shoulder. “He _is_ the coldest person on Earth. And when we went to his tournaments together, he didn’t really show emotions.”

 

“Don’t start ! Not you too !” Taemin whined. “I was looking for support !”

 

“But admit it. Kibum is really gifted when it comes to technical and artistic, but he never put emotions in his skating. That’s why I chose hockey. You don’t have to put emotions in it, you just have to put the damn puck in the goal.”

 

“And be sure you won’t, mate.”

 

 

Taemin froze as he recognized that loud voice, turning around to see Jongin’s opponent shoot the white ball to a yellow one, making it hit its twin and both rolling to two different holes in one go.

 

The members of the Canadian team who were there stood up and shouted to congratulate their captain, who had just got rid of all his balls and almost won the game. Proudly smiling, Choi Minho straightened up and winked at the two Korean young men.

 

 

“No way out !” He joyfully said to Jongin.

 

“You maybe won this, Choi, but I won’t let you goal _my_ balls.” The Korean said as he approached the table.

 

“Let me try this one, Jongin-ah.” Taemin spoke up as he smiled. “I have to teach that Canadian a lesson.”

 

“Oh, really ? Show me then.”

 

“Hum… Yeah, just help me once, I forgot how to hold the cue.”

 

 

Minho laughed as Taemin blushed and Jongin laughed too before putting his own cue against the wall. He then placed himself behind his best friend.

 

 

“This is so simple, how can you forget that ?” He asked as he took the cue to place it between Taemin’s hands. “Here, don’t lift it too much. Your elbow, higher.”

 

 

The ginger boy let Jongin help him and checked the balls’ positions before he moved to the other side of the table, leaning on it to aim at the yellow ball facing him.

 

 

“Goodness, you’re not going to goal if you do it this way. Think about my dignity.”

 

 

Laughing, his best friend came back behind him and held the cue with him, making him lean a bit more.

 

 

“Now, don’t lose sight of the ball.” He then said. “You’ll have to hit it slightly on its left but straight, and with strength. Ok ?”

 

“Ok, I’ll do it.”

 

 

Taemin stared at the ball, not hearing the other men’s whispers and giggles in the room. In no time, he hit the ball… and missed it. Jongin clicked his tongue as he straightened up, disappointed but not surprised ; Minho didn’t hold himself back and laughed out loud.

 

 

“All this sexual tension for nothing !” He said, making both best friends jump with surprise and blush.

 

“Wh-What are you saying ?” Jongin immediately defended himself. “I was just helping him, you would have done the same !”

 

“Y-You’re telling nonsense !” Taemin shouted as his cheeks were as red as a tomato. “And if there is someone gay here, it’s you !”

 

“Me ? Where did you get such an idea ? Not that I have something against men though.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, remember how you winked at me earlier ! I know I’m cute but still !”

 

 

Minho’s eyes widened and he bursted into laughters, along with his teammates. Both Taemin and Jongin stared at them with incomprehension… what was happening again.

 

 

“Oh boy !” The Canadian captain said after a whole minute, holding his stomach. “Don’t tell me you thought about that wink all night long !”

 

“Well, it was kinda suggestive and—” Taemin started to justify himself, his face redder than ever.

 

“Okay, kiddo. Calm down. I’m married, see ?”

 

 

Minho raised his left hand to show the boys a golden ring on his fourth finger. Taemin widened his eyes and started to stutter some apologies, making his best friend guffaw.

 

 

“So don’t worry, I wasn’t seducing you yesterday.” The tall man said, laughing. “Ah, you’re cute indeed. But sorry, I’m already taken and a happy husband. And the ice queen you have as your friend would be happy to know she’s Korean !”

 

“Really, you married a Korean woman ?” Jongin asked, whistling. “You still have roots in our country then.”

 

“Yeah, my Sooyoung is Korean but she works in Canada. Yes, another one who betrayed our country.”

 

“He didn't mean it, you know.” Taemin said. “He just used to cheer you when you were in the Korean team. But since you moved to Canada, he hates ice hockey.”

 

“Oh my… I broke a fan’s heart.”

 

 

Minho put his hand on his heart and made a silly face, making his mates laugh but Taemin getting angry again. Thankfully, the tall man noticed hit and lift his hands.

 

 

“Wow, it’s fine, I was kidding.” He said. “Don’t worry, I’m not mad at your friend. He’s training now, isn’t he ?”

 

“Yeah, it’s figure skating day today, for training I mean.” The ginger boy replied.

 

“I see. Well, maybe I should go to watch one of his trainings one day. He’s been a fan of me, maybe I can be a fan of him ? But let’s play first. I have to give you a good beating.”

 

 

Minho winked at him once again, making his hiss, and he laughed before playing in his turn. Taemin smiled in the end, and started to relax with his best friend and this Choi Minho. He would certainly got scolded by his coach once the training would be done, and Kibum would also be disappointed since he had left him… but at least he wasn’t a witness of that talk from earlier anymore.

 

But even though he was enjoying a second game of billiards, his mind was thinking about that skater with white hair. This guy had sure come like thunder in their peaceful life, with his smile and his joy Kibum couldn’t stand. Taemin had heard what he had said before he had interrupted him…

 

Could this unknown guy who wasn’t even a single skater teach his friend to show his emotions on ice ? 

 

That sounded impossible.

 

 

 

⛸

 


	3. Break the ice

_**3\. Break the ice** _

 

 

 

The streets of Helsinki were immersed in the soft but cold morning light of a shy sun. The cobbled roads of the downtown were filled with small colorful cars and a lot of bikes, just as colorful ; it was the beginning of a good day, Jonghyun was thinking.

 

Walking along the sidewalk with Irene holding his arm, they had both decided to have a refreshing morning walk before visiting the several boutiques of this famous shopping street they had heard of. They weren’t the only contestants to the Olympics to have left the hotel, they could recognize some faces among the pedestrians.

 

 

“I’m so glad today’s a free day for us.” The young woman joyfully said. “I was afraid we couldn’t visit anything !”

 

“You’re silly, huh ? Of course we can visit, we’re here for three entire weeks before the Olympics begin.” Jonghyun replied, smiling. “This is the first European country I see with my own eyes.”

 

“Really ? But we went to France for the Grand Prix, two years ago.”

 

“Yes but we stayed there for only three days, so we didn’t visit. I wish I could have seen the Eiffel Tower.”

 

“Me too… but we have so much time in Finland, let’s make the most of it !”

 

“Do you want to drink something hot ? I’m freezing inside.”

 

 

Irene smiled and nodded, nestling against her partner’s arm to feel a bit warmer. Instinctively, the white haired man let her arm go to put his around her back, holding and rubbing her shoulder. Some persons were turning and staring when they passed, sometimes smiling as they thought about how lovely they were together.

 

What was funny was that they’re weren’t a couple at all, they had never had love feelings for each other. Even during their teen age, when their hormones were going crazy, they hadn’t felt something different between them except they became closer. 

 

They were like brother and sister for ten years, and Jonghyun wasn’t the kind of person to think that a strong friendship between a man and a woman wasn’t possible without any attraction. Of course Irene was pretty, he was the first one to admit it ; but she was like his little sister, he couldn’t see her by other means.

 

Anyway, even though he liked women, he liked men more. He was one of the three openly bisexual figure skaters participating in the Olympics this year, and it was somehow an honor to have his face in some newspapers and online articles about it. He had that chance not to be seen as a sort of sinner like he was used to be seen in his country, so he was definitely happy.

 

Soon, they both arrived at a coffee shop, and Jonghyun let his partner alone for a minute, coming back quickly with two hot coffee cups in the hands. The simple warm contact between their skin and the cup was a relief. They should be used to cold, you’ll tell me, since they’re _ice_ skaters, but there wasn’t any wind in a skating rink ; that was the difference, a huge difference.

 

As Irene took the young man’s arm with hers once again, holding her coffee in her free hand, they headed to the famous shopping street. Since it was a week day, it wasn’t a lot frequented and it was for the best : they could take their time and check every shop without being jostled by other people.

 

The small shops were located in the ground floor of colorful aligned flats, and the whole street was almost five hundreds meters long. This was really touristic in summer, but winter in Finland could be so cold that foreigners wouldn’t dare to travel there during this season.

 

As they stopped at almost every shop, Jonghyun noticed a traditional boutique with its front window made of birch wood. Several stalls were proposing a large choice of winter fruits like clementines or oranges, and the young man licked his well-rounded lips. He couldn’t help but fall in love with clementines.

 

He took a small basket among the ones provided at the entrance of the shop, and started meticulously choosing his loves, talking to himself as he inspected the orange citrus fruits. 

 

 

“Oh no, you’re at it again, oppa…” 

 

“What !” Jonghyun retorted when he heard Irene, who had just joined him and was sighing. “Clementines are really good for health and it reminds me of my mom so leave me alone.”

 

“Are you being nostalgic about your mom, already ?” Irene smiled as she patted her friend’s back. “We’ve been here for only a week.”

 

“I know but I still live with her you know, so it’s strange not to see her every day.”

 

“I understand. By the way, did you plan to bring her something from Finland ?”

 

“Of course ! And this shop seems perfect to find something local and traditional, just like she loves it. Let’s enter.”

 

 

Nodding, the young woman waited for her partner to finish with his clementines and they went inside the boutique together, taking their beanies off out of respect. The atmosphere there was cozy and they both immediately felt relaxed ; there was a sweet scent of wood and honey, and they could hear the crackling of a fire in some hearth.

 

It could feel like home, but the small place was filled with shelves and display stands, all made of the same wood as the front window. There were books, figurines, crockery and some handmade clothes to buy there, but the first thing that catch the skaters’ eyes — or should I say, their nostrils — was a mouthwatering smell of… pastries.

 

They suddenly turned into puppies, smelling around to find the source of this fragrance, until they crossed the room to its end, where there was a small counter which dishes were put on. And there, calling them with puppy eyes, were some small brioches with a sweet brown-orange color and some sugar grains dusted on them.

 

 

“Excuse me ?” Irene called an old woman with a gorgeous white braid, sitting in a rocking chair next to the counter, using English. “Sorry to disturb you, we’re foreigners and we’re really curious about those.”

 

“Oh, my dear, my eyesight is usually so bad but I can see how beautiful you are.” The elderly woman said as she slowly stood up, Jonghyun immediately offering his help. “Ah thank you, such a gentleman. You seem really handsome too ! I can see your eyes are like two almonds, where are you from ?”

 

“We’re from South Korea, my lady.” The white haired man said in English with a smile, the way he called her making her blush like a teenager.

 

“Don’t bother yourself with such formalities my boy, I’m almost ninety-four ! Just call me Annika, will you ? What was your question again ?”

 

“We were curious about the pastries, Annika.”

 

“Oh yes, the pastries ! They’re free, I made them this morning ! Please try one and tell me how Finland tastes.”

 

 

Without a second thought, the skaters caught each a pastry and bit in them, taking a huge mouthful as they started chewing, Jonghyun closing his eyes to enjoy the taste more. This was so different than their local pastries, he could feel a strong taste but it was amazingly sweetened, just enough for his eyes to sparkle when he opened them again.

 

 

“This is so good !” He said in Korean, making the woman laugh before he spoke in English. “Annika, it is really really good, I’ve never tasted anything this good !”

 

“What is the name of this ?” Irene asked, hiding her full mouth behind her hand.

 

“These are _korvapuusti_ , it’s made with cinnamon and cardamom.” Annika replied, so happy to please foreigners with her pastries that she was brightly smiling. “Are you here for a long time ?”

 

“Yes, we’ll stay almost two months here, we’re contestants for the Olympics !” Jonghyun said as he finished his brioche.

 

“Oh, really ? That’s a great thing, I hope you will win some medals ! If you have time, please come back here once or twice, I make new recipes every morning. You can taste the whole Finnish gastronomy with granny Annika !”

 

 

Both Irene and Jonghyun laughed at the grandma’s enthusiast, but her joy was communicative and she had brightened their day before it had even really begun. 

 

 

“For sure we’ll come again before leaving the country !” The white haired man said. “I see you cooked a lot of those… _k-korvusti_?”

 

“ _Kor-va-puus-ti_ , my boy.” Annika laughed. “And yes, I always make a lot of them but they’re all gone at the end of a day. You’re not the first Korean to come this morning, there were three men who came earlier and enjoyed my pastries too. They left just five minutes before you two came in.”

 

“Oh, really ? Did they tell you their names ?”

 

“No, I didn’t even ask. But one of them was so young and he has a cute face, with gorgeous ginger hair. His friend was tall if I remember well, with his hair as dark as raven’s wings… he seemed really gloomy but he was handsome just like you. And there was also a third one, who ate three _korvapuusti_ in a row !”

 

 

Jonghyun smiled. Of course he had guessed who these three Korean were, and he was kind of glad to know they were doing some window shopping too. After he thanked the old lady and bought his clementines and a small handmade tapestry representing a Finnish landscape for his mom, the white haired man leaned his partner outside.

 

He wanted to find them, he wanted to break the ice in other circumstances that the other day. _Break the ice_. This was amazing how their passion was somehow edged in them even through language.

 

 

“Why do you want to know this guy this much ?” Irene asked, staring at her friend who was checking every shop on their way. “He’s been so mean with you…”

 

“I’m his fan, I don’t want to miss my chance to befriend him.” Jonghyun replied. “Our first meeting hasn’t been done in a good way, I want to redeem myself. I’m sure he can be kind.”

 

“Let me have some doubts. He frightens me.”

 

“Don’t tell nonsense, Irene. He’s just shy.”

 

“Oppa, there is a difference between being shy and being colder than ice to whoever talks with you.”

 

“You’re right… But trust me, okay ? This guy… I want to know him.”

 

“Fine, I’ll trust you. But remember you’re not unbreakable, so don’t destroy your mental health trying to approach this kind of person. Do you hear me, Kim Jonghyun ?”

 

 

The white haired man smiled and kissed her cheek to reassure her. Irene had become really careful about him when they had turn seventeen, the year when Jonghyun had experimented a really hard heartbreak and had had difficulties to stand up again. By then, she had promised herself that she would never let anyone else hurt her friend this bad, even more since he was a pure angel.

 

Following him without talking, she smiled as she thought about how kind and caring this man was. She wasn’t looking at him with love but with a sincere admiration. He didn’t deserved to be mistreated nor left in a corner ; he deserved to be loved and to find happiness.

 

Suddenly, Jonghyun froze with a smile on his face, and his friend almost hit his back as she wasn’t careful enough and was still walking behind him. Noticing the man’s eyes staring at something in a shop, she directed her regard towards the same way. 

 

And she froze in her turn.

 

Inside the small clothes shop were Kibum and Taemin, trying some thick scarfs and beanies… laughing. Not only the ginger boy was laughing but also his cold friend, who was having a fit of the giggles.

 

This guy was able to _laugh_ ? To even _smile_ ?

 

The world was full of surprises.

 

Jonghyun was staring at him, smiling as if he had just discovered a pirate’s treasure. He was seeing a new person right in his field of vision, and it was an enchanted sight. Kibum’s face seemed so brighter than ever, he could only remember his closed expressions and the ice in his eyes that had tried to break him before ; now he was understanding that there was still a bit of warmth in him, and his laugh — not sarcastic as the one he had offered him the other day — sounded like a wonderful melody to his ears.

 

Without hesitating a single second, the white haired man entered the shop and walked straight towards them.

 

 

“Oh, good morning !” He joyfully said. “What a surprise to see you there.”

 

“Oh, Jonghyun-ssi, hi.” Jinki smiled as he removed strange sunglasses from his nose before bowing. “A coincidence indeed ! But a nice one. How have you been since the last time ?”

 

“Just fine, but I already miss skating. Hello Taemin, Kibum. It’s nice to see you again.”

 

 

The two young men had stopped laughing and politely bowed, Kibum removing the scarf and beanie with what seemed to be embarrassment. His smile had disappeared.

 

 

“It’s nice for us too.” The ginger boy said with a smile, considering Jonghyun better since the argument he had with his coach in front of him a few days before. “You should have told us you wanted to visit the street, we could have gone together. Oh, g-good morning…”

 

 

Taemin suddenly blushed when he noticed Irene behind Jonghyun, who had just made her come closer to greet. The beautiful woman smiled and bowed with that gorgeous flexibility of hers.

 

 

“Good morning.” She said with her sweet voice. “I’m sorry, I don’t know your names but Jonghyun oppa keeps talking about you so it’s like I know you already.”

 

“Yah, don’t say such things !” Her partner whined as he nudged her. “They will think I’m in love with them.”

 

“You’re Bae Joohyun, right ?” Kibum spoke up, staring at her. “You’re good on ice.”

 

“Oh… thank you, really.” Irene scratched her cheek with shyness, feeling surprised that this guy talked to her and actually complimented her. “Please call me Irene, if you don’t mind. And you’re really good too, I watched you the other day.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

 

Kibum didn’t say anything else, paying attention to the first object on sale he saw, and Jonghyun could have sworn he was avoiding his eyes. Maybe his coach had scolded him a lot after the way he had behaved in front of him, so he didn’t dare to do anything towards him ?

 

Strangely, the white haired man felt disappointed about it.

 

 

“We won’t interfere in your morning walk, I just wanted to greet you.” He said, staring at Kibum for a while before looking towards the two other men. “I think we didn’t meet properly the other day, what do you think about eating together at the hotel sometimes ?”

 

“You mean, everyday ?” Taemin asked, making both his coach and the couple of skaters laugh.

 

“Don’t worry, we won’t impose our presence on you.” Irene smiled.

 

“We just want to befriend, since there is no one from our club except us and we’re used to say that skaters are like a family.” Her partner added.

 

“Well, I think it’s a good idea. After all, the Olympics are also a sort of meeting event ?” Jinki stated. “It would be too bad to stay alone in our corner, what do you think, Kibum ?”

 

“Hmm ?”

 

 

Everyone turned towards the raven haired skater who looked up to meet their eyes. 

 

 

“Excuse me, what ?” He asked.

 

“Jonghyun-ssi is proposing us to eat with Irene-ssi and him sometimes. You don’t mind, do you ?” 

 

“Hum… I suppose not.”

 

“You can say it if you don’t want, we won’t dig our heels in.” Jonghyun smiled to him, with the same soft and warm smile he had continuously offered him since they have met. “I confess I would be a bit disappointed, though.”

 

“Well, it’s just eating. It’s not like it was some wedding proposal, it costs nothing.”

 

“I knew there could be some optimism in you ! Great ! Let’s say we’ll have dinner all together today ?”

 

 

Jonghyun offered him a bright smile before deciding on the hour with Jinki ; Taemin asked them if it was okay for him to bring some friends of his, being Jongin and the Canadian hockey player. Even though Kibum forced a smile out when his coach accepted, the thing was sealed.

 

Great. A dinner with so much strangers. He was going to pass out.

 

Staring at the white hair walking away from them, Kibum raised an eyebrow when the other man turned around and waved at him before disappearing in the crowd. And when Taemin let a “he seems to like you” out, he hissed and hit his shoulder with all his strength.

 

_Like_ him ? That guy didn’t even know him and their first exchanges had been so stormy, what was wrong with him ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dinner time had come faster than expected, and Kibum was styling his hair while looking at his reflection in the bathroom’s mirror. Lying on his single bed, Taemin was ready and waiting for his friend by playing his console, his small thumbs repeatedly attacking the joysticks.

 

 

“Fuck it !” He suddenly shouted as he lost once again.

 

“Watch your language.” Kibum said from the bathroom, sighing. “Do we really have to go ?”

 

“Well, if we want to eat, we better go.”

 

“You’re quite discerning, aren’t you.”

 

“Hyung, we’ve been invited in a way, it would have been impolite to refuse when we didn’t have anything else to do.” 

 

“I know, I just don’t like huge dinners with countless people.”

 

“We’ll be seven. And we’ll be eating in the hotel’s dining hall.”

 

“Still. I’m not comfortable.”

 

“It will be fine, don’t worry. Just sit at the end of the table next to Jinki hyung, and I’ll sit opposite you so you’ll be encircled. Fine ? It’s just dinner, that doesn’t commit you to do anything.”

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Of course I’m right.”

 

“Stop talking like me, you brat.”

 

“ _Watch your language~_ ”

 

 

Kibum caught his towel on the sink furniture and rushed to the bedroom to smack his friend with it, who screamed and answered the attack by catching the pillow and hitting him in return. A strong fight began and after several head shots, Taemin lost by being forced to lie down with his friend sitting on his stomach and holding his wrists against the mattress.

 

 

“See ? I’m stronger than you, kid.” Kibum said, smirking.

 

“This is quite sexual, hyung.” The ginger boy said with the same smile, willing to embarrass his friend.

 

“Oh, so you would like it more if it was Jongin here, right ?”

 

“W-What ?”

 

 

_Failed_.

 

The raven haired male laughed out loud before letting his friend go, heading back to the bathroom to fix his hair and eyebrows. His smirk didn’t leave his lips but he was remaining silent to any question Taemin was harassing him with. The boy should learn by himself, he got enough hints from him.

 

This was really funny how he was the only one not noticing how his best friend was so in love with him. Jongin wasn’t discreet at all, always looking at him with sparkling eyes and trying to make physical contact with him, and he was always well welcomed by Taemin’s hands catching his, making the contact even more intimate by literally asking for it.

 

But still. This ginger was blind. But Kibum knew him by heart, and he knew there was some attraction on his side too ; he just didn’t want to admit it.

 

 

“Ah, just be quiet and think in silence.” He said with an annoyed tone as he put his shoes on. “We have to go now, and if you still don’t understand what I mean… Well, maybe you should keep an eye on your best friend during dinner. I bet he will rush to sit next to you and keep touching you while speaking.”

 

 

 

And indeed.

 

As soon as they arrived in the dining hall of their hotel, slightly early, Jongin was already there and standing next to the table he was saving for them. When he saw them, he waved and smiled brightly, immediately rubbing Taemin’s back as he joined him.

 

As planned, Kibum sat at the end of the table, the ginger boy taking place on the chair next to his and Jinki facing him. And as expected by the raven haired man, the ice hockey player almost ran to sit next to his best friend.

 

Not five minutes after, the skaters’ couple entered the hall in the company of that tall Canadian player, making the raven haired man snort. This constant stupid smile on Minho’s face was getting on his nerves, as if he was throwing his happiness straight to his face. 

 

They all sat, Jonghyun taking place next to Jinki and leading Irene to sit opposite him, at the other end of the table, while the Canadian player was at its head, leading it in a way. Their seven places table was now full and dinner began in a joyfully atmosphere. It was as if they all knew each other for a moment, even if Kibum was remaining silent, only paying attention to the shrimps he was meticulously peeling.

 

 

“Did you see that they changed the figure skating program ?” Irene asked as she drank a bit of wine. “They usually make the short program of a category happen on a day and the free program the day after, but this year, they decided to make the short programs of each category happen on four following days, then the free program on the next four days.”

 

“Yes, but I don’t really know what to think about it…” The coach nodded, slightly furrowing his eyebrows. “At least, the three of you will have more time to train since it starts with team skating this year, and you'll have three days between your programs.”

 

“It’s always worth taking !” Jonghyun smiled. “More days to train are more improvements to make before the D-Day.”

 

“How do you feel ? I mean… isn’t it more stressing to be two on ice ?” Taemin asked.

 

“I wouldn’t say it’s more stressing, it’s a different kind of stress. You see, I’m more stressed about dropping Irene than falling myself, and I’m even more stressed for her to fall than for me.”

 

“Logical, since you lose points if one of you falls.” Jongin nodded, making the couple laugh.

 

“It’s not about points.” Irene explained. “Actually, we know our level isn’t as high as the Japanese or the Canadians, for example, so we don’t care that much about points.”

 

“True, of course they’re important and we’ll do our best to make a lot.” Jonghyun retorted. “But our stress is about each other’s safety. Skating as a couple is like this, you’re constantly afraid that your partner may fall and get hurt, and when it happens, you don’t think that oh, shit, we’ll lose points. No. You only think oh, shit, did she get hurt ?”

 

“It’s not really like that in ice hockey.” Minho spoke up, laughing. “We got so much protections, falling is not stressful.”

 

“Yeah, we’re only stressed about making points.” Jongin nodded, joining his laugh. 

 

“That’s why Kibum hyung calls you brutes.” 

 

“Taemin would you shut up ?”

 

 

Everyone around the table laughed at the skater’s first intervention since the beginning of the dinner and Taemin friendly tapped his shoulder.

 

 

“Finally we hear you !” He said. “See how I have to accept to be mistreated so you can talk a bit.”

 

“I will slap you as soon as we go back to our room, be sure of that.” Kibum replied, drinking his wine with elegance.

 

“Now that you started, let’s not lose you once again. What’s your opinion about stress ?” Minho asked, surprising the raven haired skater with his soft tone.

 

“Hum… I…” He started stuttering, not used to have so much ears waiting for his words. “S-Stress isn’t always bad.”

 

“You mean you never stress in a bad way ?”

 

“Yes, of course I stress. I’m stressing like everyone, I just make the bad stress become a good stress. If you let the bad stress devour you, it’s over since the start.”

 

 

Jonghyun was listening carefully to what he was saying, but soon, he wasn’t listening to his idol anymore ; he was listening to the human behind it, the human who was talking about his feelings. Stress was a feeling, right ?

 

This was the first time he was hearing Kibum talking about something else than his skating skills. And he was surprised by the distress everyone could feel by listening to him : he wasn’t comfortable at all with talking about himself and his own opinions, his voice was slightly trembling and the only person he was looking at was Jinki.

 

As if he needed his coach’s approval for each one of his words to let them out. And facing him, Jinki was indeed smiling to him, staring at his eyes with kindness and nodding often.

 

 

“Stress gives you adrenaline, it can be a bad adrenaline as a good adrenaline.” Kibum explained with his weak voice. “I used to start every tournament with bad stress, but I learned how to turn it into a good one, so I could use the adrenaline to never fail.”

 

“Never fail _because of stress_ , you mean.” Minho acquiesced.

 

“No, never fail at all. Once you know how to use your bad stress in a good way… you don’t really stress anymore. There is just adrenaline when you go on ice.”

 

“Could you teach me how to do that ?” Irene asked, laughing. “I’m always so nervous before a tournament, Jonghyun oppa can attest it !”

 

“Yes, but it doesn’t really makes you do some mistakes.” The white haired man smiled. “And it’s human to make mistakes, even more when you’re nervous. I always say that if you fall after a jump, for example, as long as you were good during the jump itself, then there is no need to worry.”

 

“Well, landing is important too, you know.” Kibum rolled his eyes. “If you jump well but fail all your landings, don’t hope too much.”

 

“Of course it’s important. But I want to see it this way, so falling doesn’t interfere with the rest of my choreography.”

 

“I get what you mean. But.”

 

 

Jinki discreetly laughed as both Kibum and Jonghyun were having a sort of arguments’ battle about stress. They were so into it they didn’t even notice that the coach started speaking about ice hockey with the two players at the table, and that Irene and Taemin were discussing about the food.

 

The white haired male was listening to every argument his “opponent” in this talk was giving him, and he was positively surprised by the fact that Kibum wasn’t using his usual tone. He was really speaking with interest, he wasn’t bragging nor making fun of the other’s ideas. He was actually taking these ideas into account and not fighting them, but rather offering them more profundity.

 

Both men were talking about the only thing that was uniting them : figure skating. And Jonghyun was thinking that it was a good start. He had felt it, and he was sure Kibum had too, the ice between them had finally been broken… by discussing ice, somehow.

 

At the end of dinner, the group was almost put out of the hall so the staff could clean it since it was already late. As they all walked to the elevators, both Jonghyun and Kibum were still talking — now about the difference between spirals as a single skater and as a couple of skaters.

 

They finally noticed that they were all alone, when a _ding_ resounded as the metallic door opened for them. The four other men had taken Irene with them in the elevator for the first outward, letting them only with each other. Silence fell between them and they entered the small place, standing next to each other.

 

 

“What’s your floor ?” The white haired male asked. 

 

“Fifth.” 

 

 

Jonghyun nodded and pushed the buttons with number five and seven. The elevator slowly started to go up, and the situation became too heavy to let it be this way.

 

 

“Do you—”

 

“Would you—”

 

 

Both men had started talking at the same time, and as the elder smiled, Kibum seemed to purse his lips with the same embarrassment than on the morning, in the shop.

 

 

“Please go on.” Jonghyun said.

 

“It wasn’t that interesting. You first.” The other man said.

 

“Alright. Would you like to come and watch my training tomorrow morning ?”

 

 

Kibum raised his eyebrows and hid a smile, clearing his throat as he pretended to think about it. It would be improper to refuse just like this since they had talked together for almost three hours. He shivered as he became aware of the fact that now, Jonghyun had a reason to ask him things, to talk to him more than before.

 

And to be honest… he had enjoyed this talk during dinner. But he would never admit it out loud, of course.

 

 

“Why not.” He finally answered when the elevator stopped at his floor. “What hour ?”

 

“I’m planned for the first round of trainings, so five in the morning.” The white haired male said as he made a face. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to, it’s early.”

 

“I’m an early bird. Fine, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

 

Saying this, Kibum slightly bowed before he left the elevator, but he hadn’t even made three steps that he was called by the other skater. As he turned only his upper body over, he noticed that Jonghyun was holding the elevator’s door before it closed.

 

 

“What ?” The raven haired man asked.

 

“What was your question ?”

 

“Good night, Jonghyun-ssi.”

 

 

And with an almost unnoticeable smile, Kibum left the other one speechless behind the closing door before he walked along the corridor. What he didn’t know was that behind this door, Jonghyun was brightly smiling, his heart running a race thinking about how his name had been pronounced by this ice queen, and how he had even slightly smiled saying it.

 

Kibum's thoughts were interrupted when he reached his door ; there, standing in the frame, was Taemin, his arms embracing Jongin’s nape as he was being kissed by his best friend. Smiling at first, Kibum then rolled his eyes and literally pushed them away, the two of them ending up in the corridor.

 

 

“Go get a room, you pervs.” The raven haired man said as he shut the door in their face.

 

 

Ignoring his young friend knocking, he locked himself and pretended not to hear anything as he started getting ready for the night. Soon, the hits against the wood stopped, and he smiled. Now, Taemin would be forced to borrow Jongin’s room for the night.

 

Good.

 

Kibum laughed alone, feeling as an evil witch, but not less happy. His friend had listened to him in the end, and what he had seen a few minutes before could only mean that there had been some declaration from one of them.

 

Very good.

 

Lying on his bed, the skater’s mind went back to this last talk he had with Jonghyun, when the elevator’s door was slowly separating them. He had been asked about the question he had started to ask, but he had escaped from giving an answer. And for a good reason.

 

He had been about to ask this skater with puppy eyes if he could go and watch his training, but Jonghyun had asked him the question before him. At least, Kibum could pretend he had never had the idea himself and so, keep his dignity. 

 

But he actually wanted to watch Jonghyun and Irene train, because his could scan their performances with different eyes that during their first training day. The guy with white hair lacked some technical ; and after that unusual dinner, Kibum was now dying to make him improve it.

 

He was now feeling concerned, but once again, he would never admit it out loud. He would just pretend that he didn’t want that moron to bring shame on their country.

 

 

 

___________________

 

 

 

Jonghyun held Irene’s waist from behind, the young woman putting her hands on his, and he lift her above his head with outstretched arms. Looking in front of him as he was skating in a straight line, he could feel how his partner was contracting all her muscles so he wouldn’t feel her whole weight in his arms.

 

He wasn’t trembling at all, sliding forwards and standing on his straight legs while Irene spread her arms as if they were wings, her legs straight and joined. The final position was delicate and was showing Irene like an angel flying. 

 

But the part of the _porté_ that Jonghyun had difficulties with was when he had to put her back on ice. As the figure was done, he let his arms lower and hold his partner’s waist firmly until her feet touched the ice. The problem wasn’t Irene, she was landing just fine, softly and safely ; but as soon as he wasn’t holding weight anymore, the white haired man couldn’t help but have a small loss of balance.

 

And once again, although their figure was just perfect, as soon as the young woman touched the ice, Jonghyun’s legs trembled and he almost stumbled. Sweat on his forehead was showing how hard he was working on this, and indeed, it was the seventh _porté_ they were doing in only thirty minutes.

 

 

“OK, maybe we should take a rest, Jonghyun.” Their coach, a woman in her forties with motherly eyes, said loud enough to be heard.

 

“No, I need to fix this.” The skater said, pretending he wasn’t going out of breath as he put his hands on his hips while skating.

 

“The _porté_ is good enough, we must work something else. You’re still a bit trembling when you put Irene but it’s fine, the judges will be lenient since you lift and hold her pretty well.”

 

“I don’t want the judges to be lenient, noona, I want to do it better than that and— oh ! You came !”

 

 

Jonghyun suddenly smiled, his face brightened as he noticed a young man with raven hair walking between two rows of seats. Sliding to the balustrade and putting his elbows on it, he patiently waited for Kibum to reach him.

 

 

“Sorry for the late.” The latter said, putting his bag on a seat. “I couldn’t find something.”

 

“It’s okay, at least you’re there.” The white haired skater said. “I was heating up to be honest.”

 

“Then you’ll certainly do a brilliant performance now.”

 

“Jonghyun, drink a bit before going back.” His coach said, handing him a bottle of water before looking at Kibum. “It’s nice to meet you, Kim Kibum, am I right ? I’m Irene and Jonghyun’s coach, Yang Sungyoon.”

 

“The pleasure is mine.” The raven haired skater said as he bowed before sitting down. 

 

“I’ve been told about you visiting, it’s kind of you to come this early.”

 

“I’ve been asked to.”

 

“I see. Well, Jonghyun, let’s go back to work. Irene, do you feel like practicing the _portés_ again ?”

 

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” 

 

 

As the young woman said those words, she waved at Kibum who discreetly waved back, before she led her partner on ice. They started training again, Jonghyun being quite impressive by lifting Irene with so much easiness.

 

The figures they were doing were amazing, with the thin woman showing off her flexibility by proposing several positions as she was lifted, and the strong man with muscled arms having no difficulties to hold her even with only one hand. But the landings were still not perfect and the more they practiced, the more Kibum noticed it, hissing when he saw Jonghyun’s almost falling when loosing his balance once more.

 

The skater was showing signs of a growing anger, he was slowly getting mad at himself and more than that, he was exhausting himself while Irene was still in great shape. This wasn’t good. The single skater looked carefully at the next _porté_ , his eyes seeming not to blink a single time so he could really understand where was the problem.

 

And he got it.

 

 

“Yang Sungyoon-ssi.” He called, standing up and joining her behind the balustrade. “May I ?”

 

“Sure…”

 

 

The coach raised her eyebrows but let him do, her curiosity piqued. Jonghyun had talked to her about this single skater countless times, he was admiring his technical more than anybody else on this planet, and the way Kibum seemed to want to help him with it was… curious.

 

She made a sign to her pupils, who slid to them, Jonghyun resting his elbows on the rail as he was catching his breath back.

 

 

“You’re trembling when you put her, aren't you ?” Kibum asked, making the white haired man raise his eyebrows in his turn.

 

“Hum… yes, I am. That’s what I’m trying to fix since the beginning.” He answered before drinking a bit.

 

“But you know how to lift her, you hold her well and you make her landing being good.”

 

“I already know that. The problem is me.”

 

“Exactly. You’re too focused on her.”

 

 

Both Jonghyun and Irene widened their eyes, along with their coach. Kibum sighed ; indeed, it was important to care about his partner when you were skating as a couple. But still.

 

 

“Listen. Before being a couple of skaters, you’re both skaters.” He said. “Irene got it. You don’t.”

 

“Can you be more precise ?” His elder asked, not with irony or whatever, but showing interest in his idol’s sudden advises.

 

“You’re not skating as a single skater. But before being the male skater of the couple, you’re a single skater. Do you get me ?”

 

“I think so.”

 

“Good. Irene is just fine because she trusts you enough to let you do what _you_ have to do and focus on herself. Just like a single skater would do, always focusing on himself since he’s alone.”

 

“But I need to focus on her when she’s in my arms.”

 

“Yes, but once she’s not anymore, you have to focus back on yourself. As soon as she touches the ice, she’s the one who controls her balance, not you. I observed your hands and your eyes. When you put her on ice, you look at her feet and you tighten your hold. This is the exact opposite of what you have to do if you don’t want to be destabilized by the sudden loss of weight on your body.”

 

 

Jonghyun listened carefully, staring at Kibum’s eyes while he was speaking and sometimes at his moving hands. He was explaining the problem to him with precision and his voice sounded like a coach’s voice. Even his own coach was feeling impressed by the way he had noticed the exact issue and even more by the way he had just found the explanation. 

 

She should maybe feel ashamed not to have found it herself, but her nature was only telling her to let the boy go on.

 

 

“So for now, practice something else.” The raven haired man concludes. “You did too much _portés_ in a row so you’re preoccupied by them and not focused enough, you won’t succeed now.”

 

“Are you turning into my coach ?” Jonghyun asked, smirking.

 

“Well, it seems you wanted me to do that, don’t you ? So listen to me and practice something else, if your real coach agrees.”

 

“Oh, I agree.” Sungyoon said, smiling with her arms crossed on her chest. “Jonghyun doesn’t really listen to me so maybe I’ll let you coach him, he seems to want to be obedient this time. Maybe I’m too kind with him.” 

 

“Then I’ll do it. He seems to need someone to kick his butt and I’m the right man for the job. Kim Jonghyun, sunbae speaking this time. On ice, now. Steps.”

 

 

The skater couldn’t help but smile brightly, seeing his biggest dream coming true : his idol, Kim Kibum, whose success he had followed for five years, was literally coaching him. And the best thing was certainly that he hadn’t had to ask for it. As he slid back on ice, feeling refreshed like never before, he held Irene hand and looked at her.

 

She was smiling at him, sincerely, perfectly knowing how he was feeling and trusting him more than ever. She wasn’t used to be coached by someone else than Yang Sungyoon, and to be honest, she was a bit worried about Kibum’s potential way of coaching… but Jonghyun was literally shining, and it was enough for her to give a try to the improvised coach.

 

As the real coach gave him a paper sheet with the detail of the couple’s short program, Kibum calculated the points that they were supposed to make with all the figures in his head. He thought at first that it wasn’t a difficult program, the jumps to make were easy when you were a single skater but he couldn’t really know what was their level of difficulty for a couple.

 

The amount of points they could make with this program was acceptable, but they could have chosen figures that would have given them way more. Sungyoon explained him that since they were still lacking technical compared to the other contestants, they were putting a lot of hope on performance and interpretation.

 

 

“They’re both born actors, I think.” She explained him. “They really know how to move the audience, so their lack in technical points can be covered. That’s how they made it to the Olympics.”

 

“I see. But they can loose a lot of points if they only care about artistic.” Kibum said. “I mean, there always is a possibility to fall or to stumble, not to be in harmony during the pair jumps… artistic can’t catch up everything.”

 

“You’re right, but they prefer to put more technical elements in their free program. The short program is like a heating up, so they don’t care to be at the end of the classement.”

 

 

Kibum nodded ; he couldn’t do anything against that, it wasn’t his program. Looking up, he carefully watched Jonghyun and Irene making their step sequences. The way they moved together, with the white haired man often holding his partner by the waist or the hand as their feet and legs were in symbiosis… it reminded him of a waltz.

 

 

“What’s the music of their short program ?” He asked.

 

“The original soundtrack of _Beauty and the Beast_ , the one sung by Ariana Grande and John Legend.”

 

“Hmm, good choice.”

 

 

Once again, he nodded, but suddenly frowned as he noticed something wrong. To be sure of what he saw, he waited until the couple made the step again and confirmed the mistake. This time, it wasn’t just Jonghyun, Irene had done it wrong too. Kibum didn’t want to explain the thing with only words from the balustrade, so he opened his bag and put his skaters on.

 

Once he tightened the laces enough, he went down on ice and joined the surprised couple who stared at him in shock.

 

 

“What are you doing on ice ?” Jonghyun asked him.

 

“I’ll show you how to correct something. This time you both did it wrong so do it as if you were single skaters.”

 

 

Kibum didn’t wait for them to answer and started sliding on ice, slowly gaining speed until he got enough to make the famous step sequence. Under the widened eyes of both Irene and Jonghyun, he reproduced their sequence to perfection, not only the steps but also the bend’s angles and their arms’ gestures.

 

When he joined them again, they were speechless.

 

 

“See, this part.” He said as he positioned his legs as one of their steps required. “You’re both doing it with your right foot like this, but you have to put it like this. Otherwise, the figure will be considered as wrong and you won’t have the points.” 

 

“B-But… How did you do that ?” Jonghyun finally asked.

 

“Do what ?”

 

“Our sequence ! You did it just like us, as if you had learned it with us ! From the beginning to the end, you just made it as if it was yours !”

 

“Oh, that.” Kibum shrugged. “I’m good at memorizing choreographies. I saw you do it twice, I memorized it. Now do it again and correct your foot’s position.”

 

 

Sliding away but staying on ice, the raven haired man crossed his arms on his chest and stared at them. Once the shock passed, Jonghyun took Irene by the waist and they focused again to make their sequence. When the moment they did wrong came, they both made the tiny change that made a whole difference — even them felt it, Kibum saw it on their facial expression.

 

He smiled, slightly, but smiled, when they looked at him. 

 

 

“Okay, it’s good. Just don’t forget about it.” He said. “Now let’s go back to the _portés_.”

 

“Already ? But…” Jonghyun started to say, scratching his head.

 

“Don’t you dare to panic. You know what’s wrong now, so you have to work on it. Listen to me, as soon as Irene touches the ice, ease off on the pressure you put in your arms and hands. You don’t need to tighten your grip, she will find her own balance. Focus on your own feet and balance, don’t look at _her_ feet.”

 

“Where do I look ?”

 

“Well, this is couple skating, so as long as you’re facing each other, just look at her eyes. If you look down, you’ll be destabilized for sure. You always go where you look at, understood ?”

 

 

Jonghyun nodded and deeply breathed out before he started skating again with Irene, who was remaining silent but still had her doubts. Once they got the right speed, the white haired man grabbed his partner by the waist and lift her just like he had done several times earlier, while she was doing her own figure.

 

Then came the dreaded moment : slowly, the man lowered his arms to make her go down on the ice. As soon as he put her, he looked up to look at her eyes just like Kibum had told him to but his balance remained weak and he swore. They skate back to their starting spot and he scratched his hair, sighing.

 

 

“Again.” His improvised coach said. “Look at her, always, never look at the ice.”

 

 

Jonghyun nodded and caught his breath back before doing it again. Once again, the _porté_ was perfectly executed, with grace and lightness, the two skaters being in a beautiful harmony… but the man’s balance failed again.

 

 

“Fuck !” He shouted as he held hid head with both his hands.

 

“It’s okay, oppa, we don’t have to fix it if it’s just that…” Irene tried to reassure him, softly caressing his back.

 

“You’re still looking at the ice.” Kibum spoke up as he joined them on ice.

 

“I swear I’m looking at Irene ! It just… doesn’t work with me !”

 

“Don’t get angry. Anger will make it worse, this is not by getting angry that you’ll improve. Breathe.”

 

 

The white haired male sighed but obeyed, inhaling and exhaling deeply until his heartbeat slowed down a bit. Kibum handed them a towel to wipe the sweat from their forehead and face.

 

 

“So, you’re still looking at the ice when you put her.” He said. “But you make the effort to look at her right after.”

 

“Where am I wrong then ?”

 

“You have to look at her from the beginning of your gesture to make her go down. Raise your head to search for her eyes, and follow them. You won’t keep your balance if you look down. Here, let’s try without skating, Irene-ssi please.”

 

 

The young woman nodded as their _coach_ took the towels back, and she put her hands on Jonghyun’s shoulders, the latter holding her by the waist and lifting her but without moving, standing still.

 

 

“Good, now Irene-ssi, do your figure.” Kibum said, helping the skater to remain still by holding his left leg, preventing it to slide. “Okay, now Jonghyun, raise your head while lowering your arms and find her eyes.”

 

 

The skater obeyed and bent his arms, then lowered them at the same time he looked up. He looked for Irene’s eyes and once he found them, he never left them ; they were both staring at each other under Kibum’s order, and Jonghyun softly put her on ice.

 

 

“Good, did you feel like losing your balance ?” The raven haired man asked, letting the skater’s leg go.

 

“No, but I wasn’t moving.” The latter replied. “What’s the point ?”

 

“You must learn how to make things without moving to know the technical, then put them into practice while moving. Do it again, but faster, with the same speed as when you’re moving.”

 

 

Nodding, Jonghyun and Irene obeyed, and did the figure again thrice without moving, until Kibum asked them to try in the normal way, sliding backwards to give them space.

 

And then, magic proceeded.

 

The first attempt was a fail but it was still better than before, and Jonghyun felt filled with a new kind of feeling. Was it adrenaline ? Without taking a rest, he kept skating and caught Irene once again, applying Kibum’s advises… and did it.

 

He couldn’t help but let a victory roar when his legs and his whole body remained still, his balance being perfect as he put Irene on the ice. Leaning against the rink’s wall, Kibum smiled.

 

 

“He’s listening to you.” Sungyoon said. “He’s listening to me of course, but I never brought this off in one year while you fixed it in half an hour.”

 

“Please don’t praise me, I’m not a coach.” The raven haired man replied, slightly blushing. “I just bluntly told him what was wrong with him, I didn’t beat about the bush.”

 

“Maybe I should have done this way since the beginning, but I’m not good at saying things brutally. You know, you would make a good coach. I don’t think he will listen to me anymore now.”

 

 

The coach laughed, and Kibum directed his regard towards Jonghyun. He seemed to be reinvigorated thanks to this new success, so much that he even tried a second time to be sure — and it confirmed it. 

 

But it wasn’t the time to back off, therefore the improvised coach joined them again and stayed on ice with them for the entire next hour, helping them to improve some technical mistakes that was persisting. He didn’t really have to coach Irene, who preferred to listen to Sungyoon anyway, but Jonghyun was completely relying on him.

 

It was as if he was so grateful for Kibum to help him that he was improving as if by magic. But the raven haired man put it down to his way stricter tone than his usual coach. He wasn’t letting anything pass, and didn’t hesitate to make both of them stop in the middle of a figure to tell them what had been wrong at what moment and why.

 

He was using his single skater’s skills to help them to improve some things that didn’t need to be done by pair, like the double jump to make only by focusing on oneself. That was the most difficult thing for both Irene and Jonghyun, who had been used to always focus on each other, but it was evident that Kibum’s method was successful.

 

At the end of the second hour, when the couple had to let way to another couple, the three of them left the ice and while the single skater was storing his skaters in his bag, Jonghyun approached him.

 

 

“Thank you for coming, and… thank you for having helped me.” He said. “It means a lot.”

 

“It was particularly needed, your technical was a mess before I came.” Kibum replied, making the other man laugh.

 

“You’re back with this attitude. Anyway, thank you, really. Will you come back to the next training ?”

 

“I don’t have a choice if I want you to improve those damn skills.”

 

“So this is a yes, that’s great ! I can’t wait. Oh, and since you helped me, it’s my turn to help you.”

 

“Help _me_ ?”

 

 

Kibum looked up with one eyebrow raised, looking at the white haired man who was smirking. What had this guy in mind…

 

 

“Yes ! You helped with me with my technical lack.” He said. “So I will now come to your trainings now, and help you with your interpretation !”

 

“Never in a million years. I don’t need help, my interpretation is fine.”

 

“Oh no it’s not. You won’t win nor reach the podium with that face of yours. So ! See you at nine in the evening !”

 

“Wait, you—”

 

 

But Jonghyun wasn’t listening anymore, making a hand sign towards him before leaving the rink with Irene and their coach. Kibum stayed speechless, and shouted his name with an angry tone but unsuccessfully. He ended up swearing.

 

That guy, again !

 

What a… a moron !

 

But a truly handsome moron…

 

 

 

⛸

 


	4. Do it for her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter, it's quite long (almost 12k words, I snapped)... but I hope you will enjoy it!

“You made me waste my time, I hope you’re happy.”

 

 

Kibum was ranting for five minutes already as he was waiting in the skating rink’s hallway with his young friend. The ginger boy was only laughing since he knew the skater wasn’t meaning what he was reproaching him : if he hadn’t wanted to come with him to the ice hockey training that afternoon, he wouldn’t have. He had mumbled a lot, yet he had come.

 

But that was something only Taemin was able to do, it was his secret : persuading his friend. He was often playing with the fact he was younger to drown Kibum under tons of aegyos, and even if the elder would reject him in a first place, he would definitely fall for it sooner or later. It was just a matter of time and perseverance, even though he would pretend he was accepting only to make the kid stop.

 

And here they were, both waiting for Jongin to come out of the locker room so they would go back to the hotel together to have lunch. What they didn’t expect was that the young man would join them with, once again, Choi Minho. Both players were opponents but thanks to their common native country, they had become closer with the days passing. Only Taemin was starting to get a bit jealous even though he knew that his best friend and now boyfriend was only his.

 

 

“Did you enjoy the training ?” The Canadian player joyfully asked. “Jongin gave me struggles today, I may go scared for the sake of my ass.”

 

“Such language…” Kibum hissed, making the other men laugh when he rolled his eyes and started walking out of the rink.

 

“He’s pretending to be mad but he actually enjoyed it.” Taemin denounced his friend with a smirk as he jumped on the side to avoid a hit. “What ! I’m telling the truth ! You were sweating with them.”

 

“That’s because it was so hot in that rink full of testosterone. I wonder how the ice didn’t melt.”

 

“So you just said we were hot.” Minho smirked.

 

“No, I—”

 

“Yes that’s what I heard too.” Jongin retorted, fist-bumping with his hockey mate.

 

“You fucking assholes.”

 

“Such language !”

 

 

While the three men were laughing out loud, Kibum hid his smile. He wasn’t used to this kind of company nor was he to befriend anyone, yet he was starting to like these two men. He knew Jongin for a moment, since he was Taemin’s best friend for years, but he hadn’t really tried to know more of him. But the guy was just like Minho since they had met at the hotel : desperately needing to get on his nerves.

 

And in a way, it was making the skater feel as if he was liked. He, who hadn't had a lot of friends during his childhood and teens, not to say no friends at all until he had met Lee Taemin at the skating rink. He had always rejected anyone who wasn’t the ginger boy or their coaches, when he had been invited to some school parties or even to dates with his female schoolmates. 

 

So it was kind of new to him to meet and talk so much with two other persons, and he had to admit that Choi Minho being the same age as him was a true help to improve their relationship. Oh, he was still annoyed by his constant smiling face and all that happy stuff proper to him, but he was really liking him more with the days passing, seeing him almost every day.

 

As the four of them were eating with a certain hunger at the hotel’s dining hall, Kibum noticed Jonghyun, who was leaving with Irene and their coach. The white haired man saw him too and before he passed the door, he smiled and wave at him ; the other skater pursed his lips as he felt his cheeks turning red and hot, and gave him his wave back before he focused on his dish.

 

 

“You seem to like him more than before, don’t you ?” Minho suddenly asked as he took another chicken leg in his plate. 

 

“He’s kinda tenacious.” The black haired man replied, shrugging. “At least someone’s smiling when seeing me.”

 

“Oh, do you mean you want me to smile more for you ?”

 

“Please no. You’re smiling way too much, did you already think about the consequences on your face when you’ll be a grandpa ?”

 

“Well, my wife told me I would still seem young if I keep smiling, even when I turn eighty. And she’s a model so she knows a lot about that stuff.”

 

“You’re so young, why did you marry ?” Taemin suddenly asked, his plainspokenness making the tall man almost choke with his meat. “Ah, sorry, I mean… it’s young to get married at twenty-three !”

 

“I married her before Olympics so she wouldn’t take my team’s potential defeat as a pretext to dump me.”

 

 

The words seemed so honest it made everyone around the table laugh, including Kibum who hid his mouth behind the palm of his hand. But it didn’t get unnoticed and even if none of the other men made a comment about it, it made them smile even wider. 

 

They continued talking for a long moment, until the raven haired skater decided to leave them ; he had to talk with his coach about their… guest, at their next training. He knew it wouldn’t be a problem with Jinki, since he seemed to appreciate Jonghyun’s company and enthusiasm. 

 

As he knocked at his elder’s door, he heard a strange noise, as if the man in the room was rushing to do something. He could hear his voice talking to someone too, and when the door finally opened, Kibum raised an eyebrow.

 

 

“You’re not alone, hyung ?” He asked, glancing at the inside of the room but staying in the corridor.

 

“What ? Yes, I’m alone, why ?” Jinki answered.

 

“I don’t know, I heard you talking so I thought…”

 

“Oh, that’s nothing, I was on a call with someone when you knocked.”

 

“I see. Anyway, are you free right now ? I need to talk to you about something regarding tomorrow’s training.”

 

“Sure, come in.”

 

 

The skater nodded as his coach moved to let him enter his bedroom, closing the door behind them. Just like one person, they walked to the small table and sat opposite each other. Jinki looked at him, his eyebrows furrowed as he felt concerned.

 

 

“Is everything alright ?” He asked. “You seem bothered.”

 

“Everything’s fine, it’s just that we won’t be alone tomorrow.” Kibum said as he looked up towards the other man. “Jonghyun wants to come to our training.”

 

“ _Our_ ?”

 

“Well, only mine. I didn’t have the time to refuse, he just… threw the information and left.”

 

“And you don’t want him to come ?”

 

“It’s not about not wanting it. It’s about him, who doesn’t want to watch me but… actually coach me ? I think I had to warn you, that guy thinks he needs to teach me how to improve my interpretation. Can you imagine ?”

 

 

Jinki listened to his pupil with a serious look, but it doesn’t last long : he ended up laughing out loud, the skater staring at him in disbelief. What was wrong with that old man again, he hated it when his elder was laughing and clapping his hands like some seal. It was making him feel as if he had just said something extremely ridiculous or stupid when he actually hadn’t.

 

 

“What’s wrong ? It’s a real concern, hyung.” Kibum sighed. “There is nothing funny.”

 

“If only you knew…” The coach said as he wiped his tears. “Jonghyun came to me already, he told me what you just told me in your turn.”

 

“Did he ? That moron ! What did he tell you ?”

 

“Just the same thing as you, that he wanted to come to your trainings and, as a way to thank you for helping him with his technical lacks, to help you with your interpretation.”

 

“Please tell me you rejected his offer. Please, hyung.”

 

“Why would I ? It’s actually a good idea, why don’t you want to give it a try ? You perfectly know you’re lacking in interpretation, Kibum-ah.”

 

“Maybe I know that, but maybe I don’t want anyone to _teach_ me ?”

 

“I think the problem is deeper than that. Because when I chose not to push you about it, you know Jonghyun will just look deeper into what’s blocking you. And you don’t want to show your weaknesses to him.”

 

“But I don’t know him, hyung ! Even Taemin isn’t aware that I acknowledge my lacking and its reason, do you really think I will start talking about that with a stranger ?”

 

“Kibum.”

 

 

Jinki’s voice softened as he turned into the friend behind the coach, making his chair come closer to his protected. As a gentle gesture to make him trust him, he slowly took one of his hands in both his, softly caressing its back with his thumbs. That was something that would relax Kibum, who was extremely sensitive when it came to hands’ contact.

 

The latter sighed and he looked up towards his friend, his eyes starting to tear up because of the real fear to reveal his only weakness regarding figure skating to someone else than Jinki. It wasn’t really a matter of dignity to keep or whatever, it was a real fear, because he actually knew what his problem with interpretation was, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to go over it.

 

He knew he hadn’t enough mental strength to go over it.

 

 

“Listen to me, son.” The elder said, using this affectionate nickname just like he would do for Taemin too when he wanted to talk about serious matters and so, to be listened and trusted. “I know you’re afraid, and you know I understand that, do you ?”

 

“I do…” Kibum nodded, holding his coach’s hand tighter.

 

“But I know something else : Jonghyun may be your biggest fan, but he’s not a dangerous one. When he came to me and asked to coach you with me, he told me he wasn’t aiming to belittle your skills nor to put himself above you. He said he only wanted to help you just like you helped him, because while he studied your work for years, he developed that wish to make you become even better.”

 

“But he doesn’t know me and…”

 

“He knows you, Kibum-ah. He just doesn’t know you the same way I do, the same way Taemin does. He may only be some acquaintance for you, but to him you’re way much more than that : you’re his model on this planet. Please never undervalue the way a person can know his idol, it’s different from you but it has to be acknowledged too.”

 

“I don’t see where you’re going, hyung.”

 

“What I want you to understand is that when I accepted his offer, I never meant to make you uncomfortable nor do something that would hurt you. You know it’s not my intention. I accepted because I think you need someone else to release this fear. I can’t do that, Taemin can’t either. But I’m sure Jonghyun can help you.”

 

“He can’t, because I’m not going to tell him about such private things.”

 

“This is where you’re fooling yourself, son. You’re persuading yourself you won’t, but you talked to him enough to know he can see things in you even though you really know each other for less than two weeks. I think you’re more afraid that he could guess something than actually saying it yourself.”

 

“You’re right…”

 

 

Kibum sighed as he let his body fall backwards, against the back of his chair. With his free hand, he wiped a single tear that had escaped his eye, and Jinki kept caressing his skin. Of course it wasn’t easy, but the coach didn’t want his pupil to think that Jonghyun was craving helping him only to have some power on him.

 

The raven haired skater was so insecure in real life, and to know that a _stranger_ was aware of it almost on the same level than his two best friends was scaring him. He wasn’t scared of Jonghyun himself, he was just scared that this guy could make him talk just like he did during their several dinners all together.

 

He had that gift for making him talk about everything and nothing, like the words he was using were so well chosen that Kibum couldn’t help replying with his own, making their debates endless and passionate. He was able to make him talk with his heart, and it was becoming dangerous.

 

 

“I gained time by talking to his coach.” The skater confessed. “Because he wanted to come to my training on the same day, and I really freaked out. I managed to convince his coach to let me with you for that day, then I would talk with you about it.”

 

“That’s why he came to me first.” Jinki nodded. “He didn’t want to disrespect you so he indeed didn’t come to your last training, but he almost begged me to let him come to the next ones.”

 

“I suppose I can’t retreat anymore.”

 

“I think it will be a great opportunity for you to learn more, to learn things I can’t teach you because I’m close to you. As your friend, I’m not able to make you open yourself about what’s blocking you, even less as your coach. But Jonghyun isn’t your coach, and I don’t know if he is your friend yet… so I trust him and I trust you. You’ll find a balance together about it.”

 

“If you say so… But please stay close. Don’t leave the rink or whatever, don’t leave me alone with him because if I break down, I…”

 

“I’ll be there. I’ll never be too far away from you.”

 

“Does Taemin know ?”

 

“He doesn’t, I’ll let you tell him, alright ? So you can tell him what you want, I won’t interfere.”

 

“Thank you, hyung. I don’t say it often, not to say never, and I don’t know if it will seem sincere but… you… you are… precious to me.”

 

 

Jinki smiled to the confession, since it was a rare thing to hear yet so comforting. He wasn’t gifted with lovely words either so he just stood up and opened his arms, his pupil and friend imitating him and hugging him tight. Kibum’s shoulders eventually relaxed as he let his chin rest on his elder’s shoulder, feeling his hands caressing his back to reassure him.

 

This kind of touches he only had with his coach meant a lot to him, it somehow reminded him about the way his mother used to comfort him. Taemin wasn’t gifted with touches, he would only pat his back and choose to change his mind by hanging out instead of hugging him ; yet sometimes, the skater only needed a hug, the feel of arms around him as a sign he was protected, safe.

 

 

“Try to relax now, you still have time until your next training.” Jinki said. “What do you think about doing meditation with me ? I was planning to do some today.”

 

“I would rather ask for this professional massage of yours but meditation sounds good too.” Kibum answered.

 

“Let’s meditate first, then I’ll do my best to sooth those tense muscles.”

 

 

The skater smiled and straightened up, wiping a tear on his cheek with his sleeve before staying next to his coach as the latter was unfolding his mat. As they both sat in easy pose next to each other and closed their eyes, Kibum let his worries leave his mind for a short while, only focusing and harmonizing his breathing with his friend’s.

 

 

 

____________________

 

 

 

Jinki’s face was peaceful as he was staring at his pupil sliding on ice, never looking away even to shove his fork in his mouth. Kibum’s training had been planned just after lunch time this day and the coach had forgotten to eat because of a long video call with one of his near relations, thus he was supervising and eating an sort of box of instant pastas at the same time.

 

On the rink, the skater was practicing his jumps and even though the first hour had been tough and he had failed his landing a few times, he was now making one with the ice. Yet he was feeling worried ; it was his second training with Jonghyun.

 

The first time the white haired man came, he hadn’t talked to him. He had just… observed him for two long hours, the longest he had never lived. Sometimes when he had looked at him, Kibum had received a soft smile or a cheering nod, even some applauses after his jumps.

 

But nothing about his interpretation as Jonghyun had _promised_ to teach him, and it was already his last training before the short program. The skater snorted as he approached the railing from where his coach was handing him a bottle of water. Maybe that guy had realized there was nothing to do and had decided to leave him alone.

 

Thanks God.

 

 

“I think you can stop with the jumps for today.” Jinki said, watching him drink. “You master them and you still have one hour so don’t exhaust yourself.”

 

“How was my quadruple Lutz ?” Kibum asked, looking for reassurance in his elder’s eyes. “It was a bit messy, wasn’t it ?”

 

“No, it was pretty good. Please Kibum, don’t forget these are your first Olympics, don’t put too much pressure on yourself with that Lutz.”

 

“It’s my trademark, I can’t fail it. If I fail it, I quit.”

 

“Don’t tell nonsense, failure is a part of the path to victory.”

 

“Easy to say when you gave up after failing.”

 

 

As soon as the words left his mouth, the skater realized he had gone too far. It wasn’t fair to remind Jinki about that moment of his life since he was a happy coach now, yet he was sometimes regretting his decision to abandon when he was seeing both his favorite pupils improving thanks to him. Kibum had often spied him at their usual rink, in Korea, late after their training ; his elder liked to put his skates on and make one with the ice again.

 

Alone, just him and the sound of his slides resounding in the entire hall. 

 

It was unfair to talk to him this way.

 

 

“S-Sorry hyung… I… I didn’t want to say it…” The skater stuttered, lowering his eyes.

 

“It’s nothing, you are right.” His friend said, smiling. “I did abandon yet it wasn’t only because of my failure. What really pushed me to give up on tournaments is that these Olympics were my first ones too, and they just made me realize I wasn’t someone competitive enough to keep going this way.”

 

“Really ?”

 

“Yes. You know… there are some skaters who live to win. Like you. Because it brings you satisfaction and you feel like you’re someone, you’re doing something of your life. However, I don’t need that. I’m not saying you’re wrong about what you need, please don’t misunderstand my words. We’re just different, and competition isn’t for me. Yet… you were born to compete.”

 

“I don’t know if it was my fate but… I actually feel the need to win, yes. The need for people to recognize my skills.”

 

“I know, son. You were born to shine.”

 

 

Kibum smiled, his coach’s words making his whole body relax and gain in strength. He was about to thank him when a noisy sound made them jump. They both turned their head towards the rows of seats to see Jonghyun, who had just gone down the rows by jumping from one to another until he was walking next to the railing.

 

And as the white haired skater was coming to them, Kibum became tensed again. 

 

 

“You’re very good.” Jonghyun said when he reached him, standing next to Jinki.

 

“I know.” The raven haired man said before he noticed his coach’s face. “I mean… thank you.”

 

“If I heard right, you won’t jump anymore today ?”

 

“You heard right. Disappointed ?”

 

“Not at all ! I just wanted to tell you I think I know how to help you with, you know… emotions. Feelings. All that stuff.”

 

“Wait, right now ? Jonghyun, it’s really nice but I still have to practice technical stuff and—”

 

“Hey, don’t freak out, I won’t help you now. I mean, not like that. This was just a warning, I’ll leave now because I have to do my own exercises at the weights room.”

 

“Wait… what ?”

 

“To help you, meet me after dinner in the hall, okay ? See you !”

 

 

Just as the time he offered his help, Jonghyun didn’t wait for the other man to answer and left, pretending not to hear him as he was being called back. He winked at Taemin who was looking at him from his seat with big eyes, and discreetly laughed when he heard Kibum fulminate against him from behind. The skater was clearly stunned and he was letting his frustration out, that was a good sign ; next time, it wouldn’t be frustration that Jonghyun will drag out of him. 

 

 

 

 

Dinner had come to an end and his friends were already standing up, ready to leave the dining hall, but Kibum was stressing out. Jonghyun hadn’t eaten with then that night, and the skater actually hadn’t seen him around since his earlier training. Not like he had looked for him…

 

When he felt his coach’s hand on his shoulder, he snapped out of it and cleared his throat before standing up and following him, clinging onto him until the hotel’s hall. His eyes instinctively scan around him and his heart missed a bit : there, waving at him with that stupid huge smile of his, the white haired man was leaning against one of the decorating columns.

 

 

“Jinki.” Kibum whispered, his grip tightening around his elder’s jacket. “Save me.”

 

“Son, everything will be fine.” Jinki answered, raising his hand to put it on his friend’s. “Look at him, he’s just cute, he won’t harm you in any way.”

 

“But… You said you would stay with me…”

 

“Listen. He told me what he had in mind for tonight, and trust me, you don’t have to freak out. I’ll let you go with him in a first place, and I told him I would join you later.”

 

“How can you do that to me ? You promised !”

 

“You’re freaking out again. Kibum, breathe and get yourself together, you’re not five anymore and he’s just a man like you. Can’t you trust _me_ ? Please stop acting like a child.”

 

“Hyung… I’m sorry…”

 

“Don’t be. I know you’re stressing out but I promise you I’ll come to you in a moment, just as I promise you Jonghyun won’t harm you. Sometimes… you have to face your fears to deal with them. It is a difficult path yet I know and I’m sure you’ll get through it stronger and happier.”

 

“Fine… Please be quick.”

 

 

Kibum sighed and accepted the short embrace his friend gave him, rubbing his back, before he took a deep breath and walked towards Jonghyun. He was feeling ridiculous, fearing for his life this way because of such a cute man… because Jinki was right. That guy with his white bangs, sparkling eyes and well-rounded lips was actually… cute. From outside and inside.

 

It was even more ridiculous to be afraid of him, and it was killing Kibum. He shivered when he was welcomed by a smile and a hand on his shoulder.

 

 

“Good evening, Kibum !” Jonghyun said. “Did you eat well ?”

 

“Yes, thank you. But you ? I didn’t see you in the dining hall.” The raven haired skater said, trying not to show any kind of emotion.

 

“I ate by myself tonight, I had things to prepare for you so I hadn’t time to come back to the hotel then leave again, then come back to get you… But now, everything’s ready.”

 

“You’re scaring me, you know that ? What would you _prepare_ when it’s about my interpretation ? And why didn’t you do your thing when I was on the rink ? What’s the point of all this shit ?”

 

“Just take a deep breath and blindly trust me, okay ?”

 

 

The white haired skater smiled and without warning, he took Kibum’s hand in his and pulled him out of the hotel. The second man gasped when he felt it and was forced to follow, but he was so in shock he didn’t turn him down. It didn’t last long : Jonghyun led him to a sort of small garage and opened its huge door.

 

It was definitely creepy.

 

 

“What are you doing, taking me to such a place ?” The raven haired man asked.

 

“It’s only the beginning, we’re not staying here.” Jonghyun replied as he switch the light on and walked towards a line of spots for bicycles. “Irene and I rented bikes for our days off, so we can visit the city without paying for a taxi each time we hang out.”

 

“So what ?”

 

“So we’re going to take them to go to the place I want us to go.”

 

“I’m not doing it. No way. Me, riding a bike like—”

 

“If you came, that means you want me to help, right ? If you didn’t want to, you would have stood me up so stop whining and take Irene’s bike.”

 

 

The words left Kibum speechless. How was that moron daring to talk to him this way ! Fine, he would ride the damn bike. But he was going to make him regret it, he hated that, it was just a torture tool to him. 

 

A few minutes later they were both riding their respective bike, Jonghyun a powerful red one and Kibum a soft green on. The latter had no idea where they were going like this and it wasn’t making him relax at all : he was quietly cursing this skater so hard and even his own coach for persuading him to go when he certainly knew what means of transport would be used. 

 

The white haired man seemed in a hurry to arrive to their destination, he was pedaling without even resting and Kibum slightly felt amused. Did this guy do everything with such a burning passion ? Even riding a bike ? It was kind of cute…

 

Soon, Jonghyun stopped next to a park lot, stepping down and walking to an iron structure made to tie bikes. Catching his backpack, he opened it and took two bike locks out of it before he secured his.

 

 

“Come on the other side of the bar, I’m going to tie them together.” He said.

 

“Where are we ?”

 

“Look up.”

 

 

Kibum frowned but obeyed, raising his head while he led his bike to his mate. His eyes scanned the place and his eyebrows furrowed even more when he noticed the letters on the huge front window of the building in front of them.

 

 

“A skating rink.” He read out loud, his voice betraying his confusion. “You brought me to a skating rink.”

 

“Exactly.” Jonghyun confirmed. “Come !”

 

 

Once again, the white haired skater grabbed the other’s hand and pulled him towards the entrance. Kibum yelped and followed until they reached the door… closed. Of course it was closed, why would a local skating rink be opened at almost nine in the evening ?

 

 

“Fine. And of course you had thought of it ?” He sarcastically said to his comrade. “You just wanted me to suffer, right ?”

 

“You’re stupid, aren’t you ? Will you trust me for once ?” Jonghyun laughed, and this soundcoming right from his throat made the other skater shiver. “I just need to send a text…”

 

“A text to who ? The rink is closed, Jonghyun, so unless you have some magical goblinsas your friends who are waiting for you behind the door, we won’t enter. By the way, did you know we have a rink… well… especially for us ? You know, the rink we’re training to very often these days ? Maybe you forgot.”

 

“Here is my goblin !”

 

 

Jonghyun smiled brightly as he waved towards the inside of the rink, and Kibum frowned again when his eyes made out a figure who was trotting around towards them. In no time and with a clicking sound, the door opened on a short woman with short blond hair and a fair blue fringe, smiling at them.

 

 

“Hello !” She said in a perfect English. “You’ve been fast, I just finished to clean everything for you. Come in, it’s cold outside !”

 

 

Both men obeyed the order and the door closed behind them. Kibum was speechless, his heart was beating so fast as he wasn't understanding a single thing of what was happening. Who was this woman ? And why did she seem to know Jonghyun when they were in Finland ?

 

 

“I will stay at the reception while you do your things.” The woman continued. “You told me there was someone who would come later, right ?”

 

“Yes, in about thirty minutes.” Jonghyun answered in English, and Kibum found his accent both cute and ridiculous. “Thank you again, you help us a lot.”

 

“It’s nothing ! Sungyoon helped me a lot in the past so it’s normal for me to help her pupil. And don’t bother rushing yourself, really, take all the time you need. By the way, you’re _Kibum_ right ?”

 

“It’s pronounced Kibum but yes, it’s me.” The skater corrected when the woman mispronounced the second syllable of his name, and shook her hand.

 

“Nice to meet you ! I’m Tanya, a friend of Jonghyun’s coach, we used to skate together until we took our own ways.”

 

“I see…”

 

“Well, now we’ll go, see you later Tanya !”

 

 

Jonghyun smiled at her and led Kibum through the corridors, holding his hand — that guy really had something with his hand ! They headed to the locker room where all skaters were stored, and the white haired man jumped over the counter to take two pairs.

 

 

“Your size is 8, right ?” He asked, looking up at the other skater.

 

“How do you know that ?”

 

“An intuition. Now come.”

 

“Wait, you want me to put my feet in some random skaters ? Do you know how many feet put them on ?”

 

“Stop being a bitchy diva and come with me.”

 

“If you ever take my hand again I swear I—”

 

 

Jonghyun laughed and accepted the challenge, his fingers catching Kibum’s as he almost ran towards the rink. The raven haired man cursed him loudly, only making him laugh more, and he let him pull him in the rows of seats, both of them sitting.

 

Kibum stared at the rink. The ice was shining, it must have just been cleaned before they arrived, and it was so appealing. There was no sound, and he was strangely feeling a kind of familiarity although he was in a foreign place. It was like he was at home, in his home-rink, alone with the ice… Did Jonghyun look for a more private rink on purpose for him ?

 

 

“Why did you bring me there ?” He dared to ask, his voice low as he kept staring at the ice.

 

“I thought it would be more comfortable for you.” Jonghyun said as he was putting his skaters on. “It’s less official here, it’s like we’ll be skating at home, right ?”

 

“Yes… but…”

 

“But ?”

 

“Why ?”

 

 

Jonghyun smiled and looked at him, Kibum turning his head to make an eye contact. 

 

 

“Actually… I just wanted to talk to you.” The white haired man said. “About this thing that’s hurting you too much to open yourself on ice.”

 

“Jonghyun, this is my private life, you can’t pretend to enter it just like that, just because you brought me in a hidden place.” The other skater sighed. “I knew you would want to make me talk, I shouldn’t have followed you. Now if you will please excuse me…”

 

“Please, stay.”

 

 

As Kibum had made a move to stand up, soft fingers grabbed his wrist without hurting it. The grip wasn’t meant to be tight and painful, but soft and reassuring. The skater inhaled deeply and turned his head towards the other man. In the chocolate eyes, he could read the plea. Jonghyun really wanted him to stay, and it was so noticeable in his irises that he definitely didn’t want to hurt him.

 

Jinki was right…

 

 

“Kibum, I’m not here to harm you.” He said. “Please let’s just talk, I really want to help you. Why not try ?”

 

 

The cold skater bit his lower lip almost enough to bleed as he was trying to fight against this irresistible wish to sit down and listen to what the other had to tel him. He didn’t know how, but Jonghyun’s presence was warm… and it somehow felt good because his sincerity was embracing him and his cold heart.

 

With a sigh, Kibum sat down again and stared at his hands on his knees.

 

 

“So… What do you want from me ?” He asked.

 

“I don’t want anything. I wish you and I could talk a bit about some things related to skating.” Jonghyun softly said, his eyes never leaving the other man’s face. “Maybe we can figure out what’s troubling you… unless you already know ?”

 

“Please don’t.”

 

“Okay, I won’t. Let me ask you something then. I always wondered… what do you think about when you skate during a tournament ?”

 

“What do you mean ?”

 

“You know, when you’re skating. What do you think about to stay focused ?”

 

“I don’t think about anything. If I think, I fall.”

 

 

Kibum tensed up at how easily the words had escaped his mouth. In a matter of two minutes, he had already confessed one of his weaknesses… Jonghyun’s aura was very dangerous. The latter raised his eyebrows for a second, and nodded.

 

 

“I see.” He said. “So you empty your mind when you enter the rink.”

 

“Yes, a messed up mind results in a messed up performance.” The raven haired man answered. “What do _you_ think about ?”

 

“You want me to be honest ? I think about my dog.”

 

“Your… dog ?”

 

“Yes, she’s my best friend on this planet. It can sound weird but I’m really attached to my dog and she’s making me smile even when I’m feeling down, only by coming to me.”

 

“I can understand that. My grandmother had three dogs, three poodles. I used to play with them a lot when I was a child.”

 

“Not anymore ?”

 

“My grandmother passed away, and I had to put the dogs in an adoption agency because I couldn’t take care of them all by myself.”

 

“What about your parents ? They couldn’t help you ?”

 

 

Kibum felt a lump in his throat. There, without even talking about skating itself, Jonghyun had succeeded in making him bring his family up in the talk. His grandma’s passing, he could talk about it, but the rest… he closed his eyes and clenched his fists on his knees. He couldn’t tell his new friend about that. He just couldn’t, it would be like allowing him to discover his weaknesses and use them against him.

 

Because that was what people do, right ? Once they see the opportunity to use something to subdue you, they do it. Humans are cruel, nothing new.

 

Kibum opened his eyes when he felt a hand softly cover his fist, slightly forcing a thumb inside it to open his hand. He stared down to see Jonghyun’s tanned hand holding his, caressing it, and found the courage to look up, meeting his face as his own eyes were starting to water as he was feeling the walls he had build up around him become like fissured.

 

 

“You don’t have your parents anymore, right…?” The white haired man asked with an extremely soft voice, his eyes showing how sincere and vulnerable he was.

 

“N-No…” Kibum managed to answer as he looked away, shutting his eyes close to avoid tears to escape them.

 

“Who do you look like the most ?”

 

 

The question seemed extremely random and surprising, when anyone else would have asked how his parents had died. Kibum opened his eyes again and raised his eyebrows, looking back at Jonghyun who was tenderly smiling at him. Sniffing, the broken skater cleared his throat and wiped his eyes with his free wrist.

 

 

“My mother.” He confessed. “I have the face of my father in reality but once you know me, I’m really more like my mom.”

 

“Really ? How was she ?” Jonghyun kept asking, never ceasing his caress on Kibum’s hand.

 

“She… She was like me.”

 

“Beautiful ? Or amazingly able to hide her feelings to protect herself from the cruel world ?”

 

“Jonghyun…”

 

“Please tell me about her. Mothers are the most amazing women someone can have in their life, and I want to know how amazing yours is.”

 

“W-Was…”

 

“No, Kibum. _Is_. She may not be there, physically with you, but she will always be with you. She will always be your mom, and she will always looking at you with a smile because a mother is proud of her child forever. You want to make her proud, don’t you ?”

 

“I can’t ! I can’t make her proud because she’s not there anymore to see me do what she liked the most !”

 

 

As he shouted with tears running down his face, Kibum rejected the other man’s hand and stood up, walking down the stairs to stop at the railing. He put his forearms on it and his head in his hands, his back shaken by sobs.

 

Why did that asshole have to bring his mother in that ? How was it needed to play on the tenses, play on his pain like that ?

 

The only person he needed was his mother. Not Jinki, not Taemin and even less Jonghyun. He wanted his mother to hug him and tell him he was going to skate well during those damn Olympics. That’s all he wanted.

 

 

“I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Jonghyun’s voice reached his ears as he understood the man had come next to him. “You miss your mom and I shouldn’t have bring the subject up when we don’t know each other that much.”

 

“It’s nothing.” Kibum managed to say, coughing a bit as he looked up towards the ice.

 

“Did she like to watch you skating ?”

 

“Yes… A lot.”

 

 

The skater smiled as he stared at the rink, remembering his first trainings where his mother would always come and watch him. He remembered how she smiled at him each time he had fallen, how she had cheered him on and always told him that falling is only a part of the path to succeed. 

 

But the most important thing she had told him…

 

 

“She used to tell me that whatever I would do on ice, she would be proud.” He sniffed, wiping his tears. “And I promised her I would bring her a medal to hang on the fridge.”

 

“On the fridge ?” Jonghyun smiled.

 

“Yeah, we had a lot of things on our fridge, a lot of memories like pictures, drawings… there was the first groceries list I wrote myself too, when I was six.”

 

“That’s cute. Do you still have the fridge ?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then what do you think about bringing a medal home so you can hang it proudly ?”

 

“What’s the point…”

 

“To show that you kept your promise. It would be a wonderful tribute, don’t you think ? And somehow… a way to have your mom eternally there, rooting for you. See, even though she can’t tell you she’s proud, she is, and having that medal on your fridge will help you to remember it. Whatever you do, your mom is proud of you, and to thank her, you brought her the medal you promised.”

 

“I won’t bring her a medal, Jonghyun.”

 

“Why ?”

 

“Because I lack interpretation, and you know it.”

 

 

The white haired man smiled and tapped the other’s back. Kibum turned his head to look at him.

 

 

“I think I can change that.” Jonghyun said. “Well, I mean I can try, because you will need to cooperate.”

 

“Cooperate to what ?” The second skater asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’m a desperate case, Jonghyun. I won’t make it to the podium so what do you want to do.”

 

“Make you think while you skate, of course.”

 

“What ?”

 

“Listen. I know I’m absolutely no one in your life at the moment, but I think the best way for you to put emotions in your skating… is to let the emotions come to you.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“You’re telling me you wanted your mother to be proud of your skating, you wanted to bring her a medal. Yet you say there is nothing to do since she’s not there anymore. But Kibum… if you really think that, why are you still skating ? Why are you here, at the Olympics, if for you it has no importance anymore ? You’re lying to yourself because you want to remain protected from your own grief.”

 

 

Kibum lowered his eyes and sighed. The asshole was right, yet he didn’t have any answer to his question, because himself didn’t know why he was going on with skating… maybe to do as if his mother was still there ?

 

 

“I think you’re still skating because it’s what links you the most to you mom.” Jonghyun continues. “After all, she was always cheering you on, she came to your trainings… it’s normal. When you skate, there always is her smiling face in your mind. Well… not when you need it the most.”

 

“Not when I need it the most ?” Kibum repeated as he straightened up, as if he was slowly understanding where Jonghyun wanted to go.

 

“Yes. You need to have you mom’s face in mind when you’re skating, Kibum. There, on ice, when you’re sliding, spinning, jumping… She’s the strength you need to be emotional about what you’re doing. In your skating, the technical is Kibum, but the interpretation is your mom. Thinking about her will warm your heart because you’re skating for her, you’ve always skated for her.”

 

“If I think of her, I break down. I can’t do that on ice, even less during the Olympics.”

 

“Of course you can. And trust me, you won’t break down because we’re going to practice. Time to get down on ice, follow me.”

 

 

Kibum frowned and watched Jonghyun opening the small door of the rink, going on ice and starting to slide. He sighed but ended up smiling a bit, putting the skaters on without thinking about how many feet had put them on already. Soon, he was on ice too, his hair flying because of his speed and his muscles pleased by the so familiar exercise.

 

Even his mind was starting to relax to the sound of the blades against the ice, scratching it with thin and perfect lines. It felt like home again.

 

Jonghyun was looking at his mate, unmoving on the middle of the rink and smiling. When Kibum noticed him, he waved and called him to join him.

 

 

“We’re going to skate, that’s all.” He said. “You’re not going to jump or to spin, okay ?”

 

“Okay…?” Kibum sounded hesitant and worried.

 

“All I want you to do is to skate, and to think about your mother. To think about how proud she is and to remember moments with her.”

 

“I won’t make it…”

 

“Of course you will, and don’t forget it’s okay to cry. If you cry, it means you’re showing emotions. You will do well, I trust you.”

 

 

The raven haired skater raised his eyebrows at the words he heard. Trust ? Jonghyun was trusting him on something so unreachable ? It was beyond strange yet Kibum felt his heart warm up a bit, thinking that someone who didn’t really know him was putting so much trust in him. Jinki trusted him, so did Taemin… but it wasn’t the same thing.

 

Knowing that Jonghyun, a perfect stranger he was sharing a same passion with, was trusting him so blindly… reminded him of his mother. She wasn’t a stranger, but she had always shared the passion of skating with him, without even skating herself. And he was somehow finding her again in a complete stranger… 

 

 

“Skate for her before skating for the judges.” The white haired man said, smiling as he took Kibum’s hands in his, starting to skate backwards.

 

 

The second skater shyly smiled as he followed the movement, and he deeply breathed as he gained in speed, making laps after laps. Soon, he was alone in ice, as Jonghyun had stepped back and had gone back to sit, only watching him. He couldn’t do anything more, the keys were in Kibum’s hands now.

 

He had to cooperate by applying his advice, and Jonghyun was trusting him. He would have never imagined to discover such a fragile person behind that vain attitude, yet he had immediately noticed that this behavior was a shell. The only way to help him was to break this shell and to let him rise from his ashes… and he was going to do it.

 

Jonghyun had no doubts on that.

 

Thus, he stared at him and offered him smiled and cheers when Kibum passed in front of him, and the latter kept skating… until he decided to do more. He did a few laps more, forcing himself to see his mother in his mind, he remembered her face, he slightly remembered her laugh, and by seeing Jonghyun rooting for him on his seat, it was like she was there, sitting next to him.

 

Kibum’s eyes started to water again, and he made a move to wipe them, to reject them. But before he could, he remembered his comrade’s words. _It’s okay to cry_. Lowering his hand, the skater kept skating and let his eyes cry, he let tears escape them as the pain of thinking about his mother escape his heart at the same time.

 

He was so focused, so willing to break his own shell he didn’t notice Jonghyun wasn’t alone anymore behind the rink : Jinki had joined him and was watching him. On his face was some concern of course, but he was also filled with pride and faith. It was the first time he was seeing his pupil cry on ice, and this could only be a good thing regarding all he had locked inside his heart.

 

He was releasing himself, something he had always been afraid of… Jinki turned his head towards Jonghyun. Yes, this guy was amazing. 

 

And as both men were watching the skater release the pain to turn it into the necessary adrenaline to put emotions in his technical, they smiled. And they shivered.

 

They shivered when Kibum started practicing his jumps all by himself, for his mother. And neither Jinki nor Jonghyun had seen something more beautiful in his performances.

 

 

 

___________________

 

 

 

The huge rink was trembling with the cheering of the audience. On ice, the German single skater was showing a wonderful performance, with only one fall until now. After him would be Kibum’s turn, and the young man was already next to the rink’s door, wearing his white and golden costume and his black hair styled and embellished with golden glitters. His make up wasn’t too much, his feline eyes underlined by shades of gold and a thin and black line of eyeliner. 

 

He was gorgeous.

 

And Jonghyun’s heart was beating faster than usual by looking at him. While his coach was giving him his last encouragements, the white haired man was staring at him, observing his profile as Kibum was standing straight, his clothes fitting closely and deliciously to his thin body. It was subtle, yet so seductive… 

 

The German skater ended his performance under a round of applause, and left the rink to make way to Kibum for his last-minute warm-up. 

 

 

“Kibum !” Jonghyun called him before the skater touched the ice, making him turn over. “I trust you. Fighting !”

 

 

The raven haired man smiled and nodded, filled with self-confidence as always when he was about to show his skills to the world. But that day, he was full of several feelings, he wanted to show how gifted he was, and also how big was the passion he had inherited from his mother.

 

That day, he would show everyone that he was able to _feel_ too.

 

The public went quiet when Kibum was called, and the skater slowly slid to the center of the rink, positioning himself for the beginning of his performance. His legs joined, he lowered his head and crossed his arms on his chest, fists closed on his shoulders in a kind of defensive position.

 

And the show began.

 

Under the eyes of Jinki, Taemin, Jonghyun and even Minho who had come to watch him, Kibum changed. As his music started, he spread his arms like wings, letting everyone discover the thin veils tied on his costume from his arms to his waist, literally looking like wings. 

 

The music was heavenly, and Kibum appeared like an angel as he didn’t hesitate to close his eyes to _feel_ the ice when he slid on it. He forgot everything. He forgot the public, he forgot the cameras, he forgot the judges… he forgot everything and focused all his thoughts on the face of this woman who was his everything.

 

Holding onto the railing, Jinki found himself shedding a tear as he watched his pupil giving the best of him, literally the best of his whole person. The only evening at the local rink with Jonghyun had transformed him, and even if his interpretation still wasn’t perfect… it was there. The emotions Kibum was feeling were infectious.

 

What his friends couldn’t see because they were too far away from him, was the two small tears rolling down the skater’s cheeks as he was making one with the ice, making one with the spirit of him mother. He was trying his best not to let the pain be noticeable on his face, keeping it straight yet soft, forcing himself not to frown but allowing himself to sob if he needed to.

 

Music was covering them, so some of his breaths turned into sobs as he slid, spun, jumped. He actually hated it, he hated to cry, to feel so weak… but it somehow gave him wings, his tears escaping his eyes allowing him to fly. His heart was skating along with his body, and it felt wonderful.

 

Jonghyun was brightly smiling as he stared at his friend, noticing how he had improved in only one night. He looked at him spin for so long, combining two spins in one go, then sliding fast to gather speed before a jumps combination. Under his worried yet proud eyes, Kibum left the ice and flew.

 

His first jump was majestic, he spun in the air so easily and landed just perfectly before he made only one step to turn over, before he jumped once again, backwards. This was a tough combination, because he had to turn over between the jumps and he had no much time to do it. However, he managed to be quick and spun twice in the air.

 

And he fell.

 

The audience yelped when hundreds of pairs of eyes saw the Korean skater fail his landing and heavily fall on his knee. Jinki muttered a cursing word and a growing worry appeared in his eyes ; a fall would often, not to say always destabilize a skater for the rest of his performance. Taemin ran from his seat to the railing to check if his friend hadn’t hurt himself. 

 

Only Jonghyun stayed focused and didn’t physically reacted to Kibum’s mistake. He trusted him, this fall wouldn’t trouble him if he kept focusing on his mother. 

 

And that was true. Leaving several skaters, coaches and even judges speechless, the raven haired man managed to take the advantage over his fall, sliding on his own knee to find enough balance, and stood up without touching the ice with his hands to help himself. That was something extremely tough, because as soon as your hand touched the ice during a fall, the penalty was high. 

 

Of course, Kibum wouldn’t be excused, his fall would have consequences on his technical score and it could go extremely fast in such a high tournament… Yet the skater kept sliding once he got up, and pursued his choreography without seeming bothered by his earlier mistake.

 

Another spin.

 

Another jump.

 

He mastered everything else and ended his performance with a remarkable pose, one of his leg outstretched behind him and the other one bent in half, his back bent backwards in a gracious curve and his arm stretched.

 

The phoenix was reborn. 

 

A round of applauses welcome the end of the choreography, and Kibum straightened up to bow, his chest moving fast as he was trying to catch his breath. Gathering all his strength left, he took his time to cross the rink until he reached its small door, Jinki waiting for him with his blades’ protections, a towel and a bottle of water.

 

The coach opened his arm when the skater arrived, and he pulled him in a warm embrace, holding him tight.

 

 

“You’ve been wonderful.” He said next to his ear. “We’re all extremely proud of you.”

 

“I fell, hyung.” Kibum forced a smile, unsurprisingly dissatisfied with himself as he straightened up to put the protections on his blades.

 

“Only once, and the way you rectified it was really impressive. Trust me, for your first Olympics, your performance was amazing.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

 

The skater smiled a bit more before he took the bottle, quenching his thirst and walking towards the seat he would wait for his results, in front of the cameras with his coach. Once he arrived there, he stopped and raised his eyebrows with surprise : there, behind the seat he was supposed to sit on, were four men and a woman shouting as they raised their arms to welcome him.

 

Kibum stayed speechless for five good seconds, staring at Taemin, Minho, Jonghyun and his coach. They were cheering him on, applauding him and even holding an handmade banner to congratulate him for his performance. With a growing shy smile, the skater approached and bowed to them before seating with Jinki, facing the cameras and waiting for the results.

 

The coach made the most of the waiting time to help his pupil by wiping the sweat on his nape and neck, telling him encouraging words in their mother tongue. Kibum was nodding while drinking, and he tensed up when a female voice resounded in the entire rink, announcing his results.

 

 

“Kim Kibum, for South Korea : 102,68 points, currently at second place.”

 

 

Hearing the words, the skater stood gaping and took his head in his hands, not believing he had passed one hundred of points with a fall in his programme. While his friends screamed behind him and jumped on their own feet, Jinki smiled and hugged Kibum tight, caressing his back and congratulating him for such a good score.

 

When he had to, he stood up to join a place set up in the backstage area where the current three winners were waiting for the tournament to end, either staying there until then or making way to another skater who earned more points. Kibum was safe enough, his opponent in third place would logically be replaced before him… logically.

 

The rest of the tournament went fast, with only four skaters left to come. The Japanese one replaced the Spanish who was in third place, Kibum started sweating as he watched the American making his show on ice last… and sighed with relief when he earned more points than him yet he ended up at third place for the short programme.

 

He was on the podium, and it was already a big thing for him. Now he must do the same, even better, for his free programme… and he was ready. He had always preferred the free programme over the short one, he had participated in the creation of his choreography. He would make points. Of course he would.

 

As the audience was slowly emptying out of the rink, Kibum waited for his coach and friends to come to him at the entrance of the locker rooms. When he saw them, he waved and almost fell as his arms were forced to welcome a jumping Taemin.

 

 

“Hyung ! It was wonderful ! And you’re third !” The young boy screamed in his ear before putting his feet back on the floor, jumping. “My hyung is third at the Olympics !”

 

“Calm down, Taeminnie, it’s only the short programme.” Kibum smiled.

 

“It’s already something. Congratulations.” Jonghyun said, winking at him. “Have you seen your score for your interpretation ?”

 

“I can’t believe it… I never had a score that high before !”

 

“Now you can only improve it.” Jinki stated. “And I’m pretty sure you will, you were extremely impressive today. But for now, you need to remove that, to take a good shower and to rest. No more skating today, no more ice, just rest until tomorrow’s training.”

 

 

Kibum nodded. Because of unexpected issues with ice hockey, the free programmes’ day couldn’t take place the day after as usual, it had been postponed to three day after. The good news were that the skater would have three entire days to train for his interpretation ! And he couldn’t wait for it, strangely.

 

 

“How is Irene ?” He asked before leaving.

 

“She’s resting, but she should be fine for the second trial.” Jonghyun smiled. “I will tell you, now go.”

 

 

Jonghyun and Irene had made their show earlier in the day, early in the morning. They had only reached the fifth place because of a few penalties including a heavy fall, and the woman had had to go to the infirmary after the performance. She was feeling a constant pain in her shoulder and they must check if it wasn’t too serious for her to abandon. 

 

Obeying his friend, Kibum headed to the common bathrooms of the rink. In his chest, his heart was beating so fast, a bit more every time one of his opponents was coming to him to congratulate him.

 

Everything seemed so unreal. Yet it wasn't. It felt magical.

 

 

 

________________

 

 

 

The morning after, Kibum was in a very good mood. He left his room early and joyfully went to have breakfast with his coach and Minho, the only ones already up at that time. They spoke about everything and nothing but especially about the Canadian’s first match to come that day. 

 

When they finished their breakfast and were walking out of the dining hall, they spotted a white haired man entering the hotel with his coach whispering to him. It could have seemed usual, if Jonghyun hadn’t his cheeks wet with tears. Jinki frowned when he saw it, and both Kibum and Minho raised their eyebrows with surprise.

 

How could such an always happy person seem so… broken, all of sudden ?

 

Jonghyun suddenly looked up and met his skating mate’s eyes. His gaze had lost any light, any glint of joy. Everything had been replaced by a deep distress, and he lowered his head again, only making Kibum want to come to him even more.

 

And that’s what he did.

 

The raven haired man didn’t wait more to walk towards the other skater. Once he reached him, Sungyoon looked at Kibum with a noticeable sadness on her face, and she nodded to his quiet demand for a moment with Jonghyun. She left them to join Jinki, and they left the hall together, speaking about the issue while Minho was staying away.

 

 

“Jonghyun ? What’s happening…?” Kibum asked, furrowing his eyebrows with a concern that was actually surprising him.

 

“I have to go back home…” The white haired man whispered, his voice broken as new tears escaped his eyes.

 

“Oh God, don’t cry. Why are you crying ? Why would you go back to Korea when your free programme is in three days ?”

 

“There won’t be any free programme, Irene and I are going to abandon before being disqualified.”

 

“D-Disqualified ? Kim Jonghyun, spit the shit out right now. What’s going on ?!”

 

“Irene is hurt. She can’t skate.”

 

 

Kibum’s eyes widened to the confession. It wasn’t possible… The nurse had told them she was fine enough to skate, so what was the issue now ?!

 

 

“Her shoulder was remaining painful last night and we had to take her to the hospital, we just came back.” Jonghyun explained, sniffing. “It’s more serious than we thought and she mustn’t move too much for now… we can’t go on with the Olympics, I’m sorry…”

 

“Wait, wait, don’t be sorry ! You did nothing wrong.” The second skater said before sighing, feeling his mate’s distress and pain. “But… There is nothing to do ? Don’t you have substitutes just in case ?”

 

“No, we don’t… and I definitely can’t find a woman to replace Irene in three days, there is so much things to learn, our programme may be simple but it’s still not easy to learn an entire choreography in such a short time. I guess we should just… abandon… trust me it breaks my heart because it’s my dream which is destroyed but I have no choice.”

 

“There must be something to do. Maybe by asking a female single skater ? We usually memorize very quickly, and your choreography indeed was easy for me to remember so why not someone else ?”

 

“I can’t ask someone I don’t know, really, I just can’t.”

 

“You’re not going to give up. You can’t !”

 

“And how can I not ? I won’t ask anyone to replace my partner, because no one can !”

 

 

Jonghyun sighed and wiped his tears. That was true, no one could help him because it would have needed for someone to at least already know the choreography in theory. And the only ones who knew it were him, Irene, their coach… and Kibum.

 

A glint suddenly appeared in the white haired skater’s eyes as he looked up. Could it be… possible ? No, not at all. Two men couldn’t skate together for a tournament and even less for Olympics ! He was having stupid thoughts because he was desperate, that was all.

 

But the challenge… just a way to say he didn’t give up…

 

 

“Would you do it ?” He asked out of the blue.

 

“What ?” Kibum raised an eyebrow.

 

“My free programme. Would you do it with me ?”

 

“Goodness. Are you sure you didn’t hurt your head when both of you fell yesterday ? You must have a several concussion to even think about us doing that.”

 

 

The raven haired man laughed, but he stopped when he wasn’t imitated by the other man. On the contrary, he had a really serious face. Oh no.

 

 

“You weren’t serious, right ?” Kibum asked, suddenly uncertain.

 

“Yes I was. Why not ?” The other skater said. “I’m not asking you much things ! Just replace Irene for a performance, you know the choreography by heart already, you even bragged about it when you were watching our training !”

 

“You seriously hit your head. Are you fucking dumb ?! First of all, this is a stupid idea. Then, even if I say yes, two men _can’t_ skate together as a couple, do you want us to be disqualified because you only want to keep your dignity ?! I won’t shame myself and stain my name when I’m about to make it to the podium of my category ! How can you be so selfish and ask me to do that ?!”

 

“Am I the selfish one ? Yeah, it’s disallowed and we will be disqualified for sure. But it won’t disqualify you from your own category since you will make your show before mine ! If you win, you’ll already have your medal and your title before I even start training ! Please Kibum, it’s nothing, just… just do that for me, I won’t ask you anything and I will disappear from your life as soon as we’re done with it.”

 

“Shut up. You’re horrible… How can you deliberately ask me to do something that could stain my name ? I’m finally being recognized for my skills, I may win a medal at the damn Olympics and become famous, and here you come, asking me to break rules like that ? I have a reputation !”

 

“Stop thinking about your damn reputation ! You want to be famous ? You want to win gold ? Fine, go and win, without me next to you. I’m going home. I thought these weeks together had made us become closer, I actually thought we were… friends ? And I’m just asking a small thing, three minutes of skating. Yet your _reputation_ is more important. Go ahead. This is a farewell I suppose. Careful not to close your eyes on your official pictures.”

 

 

Spitting that, Jonghyun glanced at the one he thought had become a friend, and left him speechless as he walked away, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Once he disappeared, Kibum hissed and almost shouted when a hand fell on his shoulder. He turned his head to see Minho, eyebrows furrowed and pursed lips. 

 

What was that stupid brat wanting again ? As if it was the right moment !

 

 

“You’ve been harsh, dude.” The Canadian said, almost receiving a hit.

 

“Stop blaming me ! He proposed something extremely inappropriate !” Kibum defended himself. “How can someone be so selfish, he literally wants me to stain my fucking name in the figure skating world so he can have his little internal victory !”

 

“Actually I understand him. Sorry, I eavesdropped… but he has just been told that he wouldn’t achieve his dream. Please put yourself in his place, how would you react if you got hurt before your free programme ?”

 

“Well I would have abandoned with dignity !”

 

“Liar. You would have cried your heart out because you trained for more than ten years to be there. Stop assuming being someone you’re not, enough with that shitty shell.”

 

“How dare you speak to me that way ?”

 

 

Kibum was about to slap Minho so hard but the hockey player grabbed him by the shoulders, staring at his eyes.

 

 

“I understand you want fame.” He said. “But think about him, he helped you to open yourself, see how free you felt yesterday ? We’re almost always together for a month and I’ve never seen you so happy, so satisfied. Also, see how you ran to him when we all noticed his tears ? Don’t tell me you don’t care about him and his problems, Kibum, because I won’t trust you.”

 

“Fine, maybe I care !” The skater admitted. “But it doesn’t mean I should comply to his stupid wishes.”

 

“You’re blinded by this celebrity you want so much. But celebrity won’t make you happy. Oh it will, for a moment. But when the entire world will have higher and higher expectations about your performances to come, will you still be happy ? When skating will become your prison, will you still be happy ?”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about…”

 

“I’m talking about your future, Kibum. For now you’re skating because you want to, but with years passing you’ll start doing it because _they_ want you to. It’s like that, and now that I know how sensitive you are, I must say it to you. So yes, maybe you will feel ashamed by this thing Jonghyun proposed you. But if you do it… your name will remain forever in the history of skating, if this is fame you want. You will be famous because you will be known as that single skater who broke the rules to help.”

 

“What are you trying to tell me ?”

 

“I’m trying to tell you that you may want fame, but by choosing fame, you’ll be part of someone’s destruction. Someone who adores you, who helped you to be better. Maybe you won’t feel guilty at all, but the facts are there. So it’s your choice. Choose fame, or choose a friend.”

 

 

Minho sighed and slightly tapped the other man’s shoulder before he left, hands in the pockets. Kibum remained there, standing still and without saying a thing. He had just been… scolded ? Him ? When he actually the serious one in that story ?

 

How was he selfish when all he wanted was to protect his name ? He hadn’t trained for years to have his name stained just a few hours after it would maybe shine worldwide ! As he was repeating Minho’s words in his mind, the image of Jonghyun’s face came to him. He saw the pain in his eyes, the broken dream… and for the first time ever, he put himself in someone else’s place.

 

For the first time ever, he put his own self on stand-by and thought of what Jonghyun could have felt… and the news must have destroyed him, yes. He, who hadn’t come here to win but to have fun, to show his skills only because he loves skating and wanted to share his passion… Unlike Kibum, the white haired man had come when he knew he wouldn’t win. And everything he had done for himself, and also for his new friend, he had done it because he wasn’t a prisoner of this tournament.

 

That was the difference between both of them : Minho was right, Kibum was slowly becoming a slave of his own passion, because he was skating to win. He wanted to win, and because of that he was forgetting his first reason to skate for years, he was forgetting his passion. 

 

Somehow, he had started realizing it when Jonghyun had started training him. As soon as he had opened his heart, it had been as if he was discovering his passion for skating again, linking it to his mother. And now… he was drowning himself again in his competitive self. 

 

Fame was a thing he had always wanted… but… suddenly he remembered words Jonghyun had told him before he had gone on ice for his short programme : _your mom will be proud_. 

 

And it hit him. Would his mother be proud of him, now that he had strongly rejected a friend for fame ?

 

A _friend_.

 

Jonghyun had become a friend, someone somehow necessary to Kibum’s life. Yes, he had helped him a lot but it had been more than that in reality, and he was only realizing it at the moment. The white haired man had smiled at him from the first moment they had seen each other. He had been kind, comprehensive, he had talked with him a lot and had actually made him talk just as much… Even Jinki and Taemin had never made him talk that much.

 

Jonghyun had become a friend, Jonghyun had been hurt, and Kibum had just rubbed it in with his selfish thoughts. No, his mother wouldn’t be proud of him because that wasn’t how she had raised him.

 

Without thinking more, the skater ran to the elevator and pushed the calling button. His legs were trembling and he cursed since the device was taking so long ; he ran, took the stairs and almost didn’t breathe at all as he reached the seventh floor. Without slowing down, he crossed the corridor and knocked at the door with the number 718.

 

After only some seconds, it opened on a man wearing a black tank top and boxers, his white hair still wet from a shower. His eyes seemed surprised, but they were red and betrayed he had cried. Kibum looked at him for a long time, or maybe it was short but it felt like hours… and words escaped his lips, deep from his heart.

 

 

“I will do it.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment, thank you for reading ~


	5. [Not a chapter]

Hello everyone.

 

 

I hope you're all doing well, and I'm deeply sorry if you got thrilled... but this is not a chapter. This is an announcement. Nothing really serious, or maybe it is... here it is: I'm putting this story on hold, and I want to be really honest with you all, considering you're more than a hundred people waiting for it.

 

When I started this story, you know that already, it was during the Olympics. The atmosphere inspired me, and I was always there to watch the broadcasts of figure skating ; I think this sport is so beautiful, I'm always living the performances. It's truly more art than sport to me — and Heaven knows how much I hate sports. I got inspired, and this story was quickly born. You noticed it, the chapters are really long but I warned you the story would be short ; I wasn't planning more than 6-7 chapters, because Olympics are a temporary event.

This has been my first mistake : writing about something temporary. Because just as the event, my inspiration has been temporary too. I finished my others stories, and I really thank everyone here who also read them and followed me on such beautiful adventures.

 

 **About "Ice heart"** : it's just a **hiatus**. I know how it feels to start reading a story, appreciating it and then... being left with nothing for years. So I will do my best to finish it, but not now. I don't want to force inspiration when it won't come, I tried doing it for you but it was just really upsetting. Summer doesn't help, the heat isn't a good friend of ice, you know ! Maybe I need to wait for the good atmosphere to come back, so at the end of the year. Between fall and winter, or maybe winter only. 

I hope you won't be mad at me, nor disappointed. **I will come back on this story** , I feel like I have to. I don't want to let any of my stories unfinished. 

 

I'm doing this to take a burdensome weight off my shoulders, this situation was making me refrain myself from writing a new story I'm preparing for months. You may have noticed I wrote a lot of one-shots and drabbles lately ; it was the only short option I had to somehow run away from the responsibility to write this story. But we can't always run, right?

So I'm asking for your understanding. I will do my best to come back on "Ice heart" once I get my inspiration back.

 

For now, a new story will come soon, with MinKey as the main pairing, in an historical alternative universe.

 

 

Thank you, and see you later. <3


End file.
